Wednesday, November 26, 2014

German Nudie Records

During the summer, I seemed to have the luck of stumbling across quite a few German records. I haven't the slightest clue about German culture, but it appears that the women enjoy doing the most mundane activities while naked. Perhaps I'm living in the wrong country.

Click on the images to see the unedited versions.





Just look at how fucking happy they are! They're nothing like all those porn magazine models making that "I'm a bitch" face. I think I'll be moving to Austria in the near future.

Two of these records are brought to you by the same company that makes universal remote controls and batteries.

I picked one song off the 'naked lady with the umbrella' album, simply because it had yodelling in it.

Listen to Yodelling German Guy

On December 17th, I'll be doing a Christmas special on Amateur Hour. You should book your vacation time now so you can fly down to Winnipeg and listen to 95.9 FM at 5:00!

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Horrible Peking Opera Record



THIS RECORD IS REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING. What a way to start off a blog entry! Just cut all the shit and get to the point. This ten inch record is like Chinese torture. Wait.... it IS chinese torture! My poor ears have torn themselves from my head and flushed themselves down the toilet.

I got this in a batch of free records, and I hate it. They've taken two annoying things (chinese singers and opera music) and have put them together into this ugly collection of noise. I don't know if this is a play, a musical or a movie, but it should be thrown in the garbage.

With titles such as "Telling the Family's Revolutionary History" and "The Poor Man's Child Shares The Household Burden From Early Age", you'll be sure to grab your puke bucket and heave. This music is PAINFUL. It's the equivalent of putting your pet goat and some rocks in to a blender, and putting it on LOW speed while someone is standing beside you smashing trashcan lids together. You can actually pick out the moment when they turn on the blender.

My turntable has crawled into a corner, and is sobbing uncontrollably.

Listen to Chinese Woman in Heat!
Listen to Goat and Rocks in Blender!

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Stompin' Wrong Connors

I seem to have begun recording videos of "interesting" karaoke singers. Here's a guy who is singing a classic song by a dead Canadian country singer named Stompin' Tom Connors. If you're not familiar with Stompin' Tom, go check out some of his stuff. He should have written us a new National Anthem instead of the shitty, constantly-being-modified "O Canada". I'd personally vouch for "The Ketchup Song" to be the replacement.

Anyway, here's our wonderful songster performing and stomping the hell out of "Rubberhead"



...and if you want to compare, here's the Stompin' Tom version.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

The Love Story of Michael & Ana



I hope you guys are bored at work today (and maybe tomorrow). I've got something great to entertain you!

I found these 4 items in a huge box that contained cassettes, CDs, book, and floppies. I'm kicking myself for not taking pictures of the box these came in, because the items were quite telling of the person who owned them. It contained a LOT of Spanish language teaching materials and cassettes of the band UB40.

Most of the floppies contained Spanish language tests and exams... except these three. These disks have a collection of emails that were sent to the owner (Ana) from a lover named Michael. Michael's writing style is unique, humorous, and highly entertaining. Dare I say that this collection of writings is more interesting and addictive than Agnes's journal which I posted years ago.

The emails come to a dead halt just before Christmas. What happens afterwards is anybody's guess. As a bonus, you also get to hear Ana's answering machine tape.

Feel free to put your workload aside, and waste some of your employer's time by reading this moving, heartfelt, and humorous love story.

CLICK HERE TO READ!

Monday, October 6, 2014

Shannon's Stay at the Aspen Achievement Academy

Before I dive into this entry... Remember how I said I was making another appearance on Amateur hour? Well, you can listen to it here! I played some stuff that hasn't been covered yet, so it's well worth a listen.

And now, let's move on...

Sometimes I come across the most bizarre shit. This is one of those things that just makes me laugh and shake my head.

These are letters that belonged to a woman named Shannon. She received them from friends she made while staying at the Aspen Achievement Academy. So what is the Aspen Achievement Academy? Well, here's a snippet from Wikipedia:

Aspen Achievement Academy enrolled adolescent males and females, ages 13-17, with a history of moderate to severe emotional and behavioral problems, such as low self-esteem, academic underachievement, substance abuse, and family conflict. The program had a flexible length of stay, with a minimum of 35 days. Some parents use the services of a teen escort company to transport their children to the site.

Isn't that FUN?

So for your reading enjoyment, I'm posting scans of the letters Shannon received.



From Erin:


From Kelsey:


From Molly:


From Rachel:


From Lena:



...and a hand-drawn picture of Jim Morrison!



I really wish I could blog 24/7. There's so much stuff sitting here that I'm just dying to share with all of you! Alas, you'll have to wait until I have time.