I figured I'd get the blog active again by going back to what inspired me to start it in the first place... Covering weird-ass shit that came out of Winnipeg Manitoba. Not only that, I'm re-visiting something that I've covered previously, albeit in pieces. Today I'm going to tie together all of the albums put out by Bob Swarts and his puppet characters. It was also by sheer co-incidence that a reader requested me to cover this topic after I had already begun working on this entry.
Bob Swarts had two local (and live) childrens' television shows which aired in Winnipeg, Manitoba from 1965 to 1986. These were "Archie and his Friends" in which Swarts took on the character of "Uncle Bob", and "Funtown" in which he took on the roll of "Mayor Bob". I was around to watch the tail end of the run between 1983 and 1986. During this time, my neighbor had a garage sale where I had purchased two of the albums featured here (Funtown & Petite Sings). They became childhood staples in my messed up musical palette (along with The Mini Pops and Engelbert Humperdinck)
And now for a few notes about these albums... Only one of these albums has a date on it, so I'll be piecing together the correct order of release solely based on album packaging, the progression of the album contents, and professional involvement (and yes, there was a bit of it). The copies I own are pretty good condition-wise, and one is a first spin from a sealed copy. Given the feedback from readers (and my own experience), "Petite Sings" appears to be the most difficult one to find and also the most sought after.
Anyway, enough of my yapping. Let's get to the albums!
Archie Wood and his Friends Christmas Album
Just look at this thing. It screams 1960s with it's drab Christmas presentation. Every single song is sung by Bob in his characters' voices along with our friend Agnes Forsythe on Funeral Organ, giving the entire album a "death of Christmas" vibe. Bob spits out a few witty comments here and there to liven up the funeral, but it's obvious in comparison to the following albums that he hasn't hit his true peak yet with his ventriloquism nor his witty humour.
All the performances on this album are 100% original, a feat that would never be repeated again throughout the rest of the discography. Sadly, there is absolutely no information on the back of this album as to who pressed it.
Archie Presents Petite in Doggie in The Window
We have some very drab green-ish photography for this album cover. Our friend Agnes Forsythe continues her role on Funeral Organ for the majority of the songs, and the banter between Bob's characters is much more entertaining. We also have our first sped-up recordings. Petite "sings" two Patti Page numbers (How Much is that Doggie in the Window and Mockingbird Hill) and one song by Sue Thompson (I Think I'll Eat a Tadpole). This will sadly be Agnes's last appearance on funeral organ. She would eventually follow her life long dream of playing organ at the Norwood hotel for talent competitions.
This album was distributed by the absolutely wonderful people at Clay-Mor sales, whatever the fuck that is.
Funtown
This is probably the most common Archie Wood album out there, making it the album with the most destroyed copies of it in existence. I've been constantly upgrading my copy over the years as I find better ones. The one you're getting is pretty clean.
This album showcases Petite the dog and Marvin Mouse "singing" songs. Instead of Bob Swarts singing in character to the funeral organ, he uses existing recordings by mostly famous artists. The songs that Marvin "sings" are just straight copies of commercial recordings. The songs Petite sings are just 33 RPM records sped up to 45 RPM to make them sound more "girl-like". I'm pretty sure crediting commercial recordings to your puppet characters is illegal, but Bob got away with it on four albums. I will list the original artists for these recordings wherever possible.
Due to being a cheap bastard, Bob Swartz mastered this album on a tape that had been recorded on at least thirty times prior. The amount of dropouts in this recording is absurd. Add in the obvious inferior-sounding 8-tracks he used as music sources (which is extremely obvious at the beginning of "Steppin' Out") and you have a master tape that sounded like it was deteriorating before it was even released.
This album also came with an order form to buy a Petite puppet. I can't help but wonder how many were sold and how many may still be in existence today. Regardless, I dug through the bowels of the internet and found a picture of one...
Looks just like the one on the show, doesn't it?
My copy of this album has a pen-written note on it, claiming it was won by some kid named Kevin at the EKY Swimathon on March 1, 1978. That gives us an approximate year of 1977 when this album was recorded, although given that Mayor Bob mentions that the song "You're Sixteen" came out recently, it could have been recorded at any point between 1973 and 1977.
This album was lovingly distributed by Play-All LTD, whatever the fuck that is.
Side A:
Jean-Jacques Perrey - The Little Girl from Mars
Yes Kids - Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah (probably re-branded)
Norma Tanega - Walking My Cat Named Dog
BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head
Anne Murray - Snowbird
Phil Harris - The Thing
Petula Clark - England Swings
Side B:
Guy Marks - Loving You Has Made Me Bananas
Doris Day - Please Don't Eat The Daisies
Ringo Starr - You're Sixteen
Anne Murray - Put Your Hand In The Hand
Tony Orlando & Dawn - Steppin' Out (I'm Gonna Boogie Tonight)
Anne Murray - Sing High, Sing Low
Petite Sings
I have to point out that the title of this album is a complete lie!
If there's one thing I can say about this album, it's that I get more emails, messages, and comments (both online and offline) about it than any other one in the discography. I honestly don't understand why. The album cover is pretty unforgettable, so maybe that's the reason? I've also come to the conclusion that this is the rarest album of the bunch. Although I had it as a child, I almost never see it when I'm doing my thrift store digging. The fact that I have a copy as clean as this one is a friggin' miracle. I usually aim for copies that are a bit better than this, but I'll take this over every other trashed copy that I've seen.
The premise of this album was to give Petite her own album which angers the hell out of Marvin Mouse (and makes a nice plot for the entire record). Petite was obviously the favourite character on Bob's TV show.
Not only was this album distributed by the mutants at Clay-Mor Sales (over at 507 Furby Street in Winnipeg), but it was custom pressed by everyone's friends at PICKWICK RECORDS! You all know that Pickwick gives you the guarantee of a quality product.
Side A:
Eddie Osborn - Barbara Polka
Eddie Osborn - Ma, He's Making Eyes At Me
Sue Thompson - Paper Tiger
Kay Lande & Wade Denning - Fun in Fall
Doris Day - Teacher's Pet
Margaret Whiting - There's a Kind of Hush
Side B:
Lynn Anderson - Snowbird
unknown - These Boots Are Made For Walking
Loretta Lynn - Put Your Hand In The Hand
Burl Ives - Little White Duck
Loretta Lynn - Me and Bobby McGee
Funtown - 20 Favourite Selections
As much as I shit all over Pickwick for their terrible releases, I have to give them credit for getting everything right on the "Petite Sings" album jacket. This album was put out by K-Tel International in 1978, and they didn't give a single fuck about the accuracy of anything on the album cover. They got a good half of the puppet song credits wrong.
This album took the longest for me to acquire, mainly because I didn't even know it existed. On the plus side, I got this album SEALED! That means you're getting a fresh, clean, first-spin transfer of it.
There is little to no dialogue between the songs on this album. Each track was likely done in one take because Bob made lots of lyrical and timing errors. All of Petite's songs are the usual 33 RPM records played at 45 RPM, but everything else used some of the most absurd sounding backing tracks I've ever heard in my life. The only one that's not out in left field is Grandma's Featherbed which I'm guessing is an original performance by some uncredited guitar player. There's also lots of Beatles songs on here to keep the average Beatles fan angry as hell.
As a side note, if anybody can identify the backing tracks that I couldn't figure out, please comment below or send an email. These instrumentals are obviously taken from some very well-deservedly-forgotten albums.
Side A:
Patti Page - How Much Is That Doggie In The Window (re-recorded version)
unknown - Rhinestone Cowboy
Bobby Crush - By The Light Of The Silvery Moon / Cecilia
unknown - Grandma's Feather Bed
Danny Davis & The Nashvile Brass - Wabash Cannon Ball
Sue Thompson - Paper Tiger (re-recorded version)
Billy Bond - Walkin' My Cat Named Dog
George Martin and his Orchestra - All My Loving
Chet Atkins - Snowbird
Side 2:
unknown - Back Home Again
Lesley Gore - Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows
Paul Martin and his Old-Timers - Side By Side
Russ Morgan & Eddie Wilser - Toot, Toot, Tootsie, Goodbye
unknown - Put a Little Love In Your Heart
George Martin and his Orchestra - Can't Buy Me Love
unknown - Carolina in the Morning
Russ Morgan - Zing Went The Strings of My Heart
unknown - Sweet Georgia Brown
Patti Page - Mockin' Bird Hill
(Put a little love in your heart, Hey Tuttle, All My loving)
If you would like to dive more into this local TV show, there are two episodes (one Funtown, one Archie & His Friends) posted on Youtube. There are also some older clips that are fairly entertaining if you seek them out. I'm hopeful that more episodes will be unearthed in time, but not every family was recording kids TV shows in the early 1980s mainly because VCRs were expensive at the time.
Guess what? Halloween's a coming! This blog is scary enough without a Halloween entry, but it's been too long since we've done one. It'll be coming your way soon!
