Saturday, December 18, 2010

A Ukrainian Christmas with Metro

I've been meaning to put this album up ever since I started this blog. Metro's Eleven Days From Christmas is a Canadian Christmas album done by a Ukrainian guy who plays the Kazoo. All of these Christmas songs are parodies done with a Ukrainian flavor, and they're pretty funny!

This album has been sadly out-of-print either since it's original release in 1975, or since Singwell Records went belly up. It's a favorite of mine to play during the holiday season, and now it can be yours too!

Listen to Christmas Song

Download The Entire Album!

As an after-thought, I figured it would be a good idea to make a Christmas jukebox for this time of year containing some of the bizarre Christmas songs I own, but I really don't have the time for it before Christmas. Perhaps I'll make this a goal for next year.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

How To Make Your Own Album

I've criticized, analyzed, and occasinally praised those who have put their hard work into crafting their own albums. But I don't think I've really given much insight into what kind of work goes into making one's own album. Therefore, this blog post is going to focus on how to create your very own home-recorded, hand made album which will be sure to impress all your friends and win over that cute girl you've been eyeballing. She'll think you're a real star!

First of all, you need an album cover. Go into your family photo album, and pick something. Try to pick a photo that was taken 20-30 years ago. For my album cover, I chose a picture of my mom yelling at me.

Next, you need a title for your album. Try to make it as professional sounding as possible. To make it appealing, use that dumbass Comic font that everyone uses on their Tripod home pages. Also, try to use either an obnoxious color, or make it all black so your title doesn't stand out from the darks on your photo.

Now, add some lame-ass clipart. See how it changes the picture? Now it looks like me and my Mom are singing!

Last but not least, dedicate it to the first girl who broke your heart. She may not have wanted to go out with you, but she'll regret it when she sees her name on your album cover! Be sure to write your dedication in all-caps to emphasize it's importance.

Now, you need a song selection. Here are some pointers for what kind of songs you should include on your album:

- Cover Songs. Show them how you can sing it better than the original!
- Songs where the music is louder than your singing
- A song with a girl's name in it
- Your very own parody. People will love your new lyrics!
- A song about your dog
- Songs with lyrics that don't make sense
- A song with a guest artist (a.k.a. one of your friends)

By following these suggestions, I was able to create a collection of great songs. Check out the song titles:

01) Ha Sob
02) Tissue
03) It's Fun
04) Two on a Bike
05) The Ball Goes In The Garbage (Featuring Ryan Nole)
06) Zab
07) Stars
08) Addicted To Spuds
09) Joanne's Socks
10) Theme from The Get-Along Gang
11) Candy Spike
12) Pipe Down

Make sure the copies you make of your album are recorded on Cr02 cassette tapes. You may have recorded your album on a ghetto blaster, but the high quality of Cr02 will actually IMPROVE the sound of your album. Also, don't use Dolby Noise Reduction. Tape hiss should be embraced, not eliminated!

Now for what you've all been waiting for... You can download my Greatest Hits album HERE!!!

Given that I was born in 1978, I'm sure you can just imagine what these songs are like. The best part of my album is it starts to hurt your eardrums after only five seconds of playing. No need to delay the pain!

However, I'm going to suggest that you avoid downloading it. If you do, you will waste 20 precious minutes of your life. Don't say I didn't warn you!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Christmas Gift for Symantec

I was going to send two lovely gifts this year to my friends who send me postage paid envelopes. Unfortunately, the one from Apex Bank of Canada has gone missing, but I still have the one from Symantec. These guys always have offers to send a free flash drive if you're one of the first 500 to respond. I've tried many times and I've never received one. I figured it was time to get a bit nasty with them, so I sent them a ransom note with one of my kid's old socks.


I wrote the ransom note on some nice Happy Bunny Christmas paper. It says: "If you want to see the other sock, you will send me an 8G flash drive."

I'm dropping it in the mail today. Hopefully I'll get my flash drive before Christmas!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Christmas with the Public Access Puppet Lady

Jesus is the reason for the season! If you don't believe me, just ask this lady and her puppet:

On this Public Access TV show, this lady and her puppets have very involved conversations about what it means to be a Christian. As for her puppetry skills, I could personally control a puppet better with my dick. Not only that, her squeaky puppet voice is enough to send dogs into severe panic.

But it's Christmas, and we should be praising the Lord instead of talking about dicks and puppets. So, let us join the Puppet Lady in song, and remember what Christmas is all about. It's about old women who can't sing, and old men who wear ugly green shirts. Enjoy!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Junq Tour 2010: Neepawa

I've been away for a bit, but I knew that I had a huge blog entry to type up, and I needed to get a piece of equipment up and functional to make it possible. So here we are. I don't know why, but the Tape & Book store in Neepawa always manages to provide me with cool stuff. The thrift store there was also somewhat fruitful in interesting stuff. So hang on, because this entry is going to be a bit lengthy...

Top Chart Hits of Today Vol. 3

I was blown away when I found this record. My parents had this one when I was a kid, and I played it quite often. This is obviously another tribute album done by nobodies who jammed these tracks out in the studio. However, some of these versions are quite closely done to the originals and it can be difficult to tell if it's the real thing or fake. However, some things give it away such as the incorrect lyrics in "Let It Be" and the way "Bridge Over Troubled Water" crashes and burns at the end. The Jackson 5 cover is done well along with the Mark Lindsey song. "Ma Belle Amie" isn't even fucking close. So, here's a few selections from the record, both good and bad:

Bridge Over Troubled Water
Let It Be

Concert-Disc Stereo Demo

Here's a bizarre record. It claims that all you need to adjust the balance control and connections on your stereo is the sound of a ping pong ball. After you adjust your stereo, you are then bombarded with pieces of classical music. At the end of the classical bouncy ball sandwich, you then get to hear three sound effects which is the track I put up for your enjoyment.

Listen to Ping Pong Game / Electric Train / Jet Plane

Margie Castle - The Soap Song

It looked interesting, so I bought it. Apparently, the world needed an international theme song for people who love soap operas. Why they needed this theme song is beyond me, but here it is. It's actually well done and kinda cute, so I included it here. According to the album cover, the characted "Soapie" had her tits trademarked. They must be amazing.

Listen to The Soap Song

Santana De Mazatlan

YES! After years of writing shitty blog entries featuring crappy artists, finally some talent has showed up. It's Santana! Oh wait, it's not THAT Santana, it's that OTHER Santana guy who sings karaoke songs. The guy has an okay voice, but his song selection leaves much to be desired. Here he is, sucking all the fun out of "Bad Moon Rising" with his smooth voice. His accent makes it quite obvious that English is his second (or third) language.

Listen to Bad Moon Rising

24 Golden Ukrainian Hits Vol. 2

Ah, now here's another one that made me a very happy boy. Finding CDs of Ukrainian polkas is quite difficult, but it seems that there's at least one Hunky living in Neepawa. This incredibly enjoyable CD has all your favorite Polka kings on it: Mickey & Bunny, Peter Picklyk, Four Seasons, Auntie Mary, Peter Hnatiuk, and the Kapusta Kids. Most of these artists are out of print, so it was nice to find a compilation where they all got together and had a good ol' drunken Ukrainian piss-up! The quality of the sound on here ranges from crystal clear to muddled in shit. I'm guessing V-Records (whom most of these artists originally appeared on) spilled whiskey and kielbasa all over the master tapes, so they had to use 2nd, 3rd, and maybe even 4th generation recordings.

The most amusing on here is Auntie Mary, solely because her voice is so funny to listen to. It's probably a dude talking like he's got his nuts pinched in a door frame, but that just makes it equally as amusing. If Miss Piggy can have a dude voicing her, then so can Antie Mary!

Listen to House Party Kolomeyka

Video Game: Tengen Tetris

I couldn't believe I found this Nintendo cartridge in the Book & Tape shop. It's a collector's item and usually sells on Ebay for around $40. I got mine for a buck. It doesn't have the original box, but has something that I think is much cooler (and probably much more rare):

Permastruct! They glued these fuckers to the game cases for purpose of renting the games out. It's the cliff notes version of the instruction book. This eliminated the possibility of the renter losing (or destroying) the instruction book. I haven't seen a Permastruct label since I last rented an NES game back in the early 90s. I forgot how incredibly lame they were, but it brings back great memories.

Anyway, back to the cartridge. I honestly don't think this cartridge is all that rare because this is the third copy I've seen in my lifetime, and now I actually own one! FOR A BUCK! If you want to know the story behind why this cartridge is a collector's item, you can read it here. It was only on sale for the duration of about 4 weeks before it was taken off the shelves and all remaining (and recalled) copies were destroyed. Hooray for big business!

And finally, we come to....
The Armed Forces Workout Video!

K-Tel put out this treasure in 1984. My copy is on Beta, and my Betamax was in need of some repair which is why this entry took a while to get up. But here it is, a video that rivals Gospel Aerobics. It starts out okay, but the minute the music kicks in, you know you're in for a real treat!

I also must apologize for the current state of some of my previously featured videos. I need to fix the links in this blog, and one of my backups got corrupted leaving me with no choice but to re-digitize some of the videos that were on Youtube. What a pain in the ass. I need to hire someone to help me do this shit, but since this blog makes no money, I can't afford to hire. Well, that's not true, my Amazon link has generated a total of 9 cents. So if any of you are looking for a job, you can work for me for a yearly salary of 8 cents (hey, I need commission!) please email me your resume and I might get back to you.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Cooking with Chef Perry

I'm being a bit tardy with this Halloween entry, but work has been keeping me busy again. Anyway, I've assembled a collection of audio clips I recorded from The Scruff Show back in the mid-90s, hosted by the one and only Scruff Connors. These were short comedy clips called "Quick Food Tips with Chef Perry". The guy isn't much of a cook, but he's really good at drinking beer. The clips are pretty funny, and because it's Halloween, I've started off this collection with the Halloween episode.

They're all packed conveniently into one audio file, including my shitty editing job, and varying qualities as they were taped over a period of about two years or so.

Anyway, enjoy cooking with Chef Perry!


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Junq Tour 2010: Swan River

This week, I'm in Swan River. I was pretty unhappy when I was informed that the local thrift store had been shut down. I figured that the week would be full of dullness. However, I was pretty much wrong. I've had quite a bit of fun here so far! It all started when I saw what I had for a TV in my hotel room. It's a big 32" LCD TV which has a VGA input on the back. On this trip, I brought along my many-times-hacked external DVD drive. You may remember that at one point I converted it into an external hard drive. Before I packed, I decided that I wanted to watch some DVDs while on this trip, so I converted it yet again.

Now, nothing would be greater than watching the DVDs on this 32" screen, so I went scouting for a place to buy a VGA cable. I stumbled upon a little computer store who had a table of shit on sale for dirt cheap. I found a VGA cable for $1, and went back to my room to happily watch my DVDs.

Here I am, playing with my netbook hooked up to the TV. This is a luxury for me since all the TVs I have at home are CRTs. I'm too cheap and poor to buy my own, and I usually shop for my TVs behind the evil computer recycling depot.

Anyway, the next day my DVD drive decided it didn't like me any more and went kaput. Remembering the table full of junk at the computer store, I went back and picked up a new DVD drive for $2.

While I was there, I decided to spend even more money, and here's some of the neat stuff I bought BRAND NEW for next to nothing...

More Cables

Here's what I got: a nice audio cable to connect my computer to a stereo amplifier. I also got a S-Video to Composite cable, and a DIN to PS/2 converter so I can plug an old-ass keyboard into my modern computer. Each of these were $1 each. I can't even make cables for that cheap.

56K Fax/Voice modem

Original Price: $79.99
Sale Price: $5.00

Why the hell would I buy such an outdated piece of equipment? Simple. It's a voice modem. You can do more than get dialup internet with this thing. Install some software on an old computer, pack it full of numbers of businesses that keep filling my answering machine with pre-recorded messages, and call them with my OWN pre-recorded message! What else is a land line good for these days? Not much.

TV Tuner / Capture Card

Original Price: $69.99
Sale Price: $5.00

Just what I need, another computer to record video. I'm hoping that there isn't any built in copy protection on this card. The shitty fucking ATI card I have has really been pissing me off with it's screen-blanking copy protection, even when I'm recording something that isn't copy-protected (such as Commodore 64 video). For five bucks, I can't go wrong. Worse comes to worse, I'll use it to hook up the CED player to the computer in my bedroom.

Video Sender

Original Price: $109.99
Sale Price: $5.00

This device is used to send wireless video signals from a source to a destination. I've got two potential uses for this... About a month ago, I came across a FREE working video surveillance system. My biggest problem has been how I'm going to set it all up with where I want to put my camera. This would nicely solve the dilemma of having the camera mounted on the garage, and the recorder sitting in the house.

The other idea I have for it is to set up a video rack in the basement (mainly for transferring videos to DVD) and being able to watch them in my living room.

All this stuff cost me just a little over $20. The best part is most of this stuff is new! Now excuse me while I go play with my new toys.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Random Non-Music Albums

These albums can only be classified in a category marked "other". These were completely random ideas to make a quick buck (with the exception of one). So here's what other people spent their money on before I found it in the local thrift store..

Pierre Berton Presents: Sounds of The Great Canadian Railways

This tape is BORING. Remember in high school when they'd show a filmstrip and have an audio cassette to accompany the pictures? This is like listening to the audio track without the filmstrip. It's full of boring train history. But I digress. Someone SOMEWHERE probably found this tape to be highly entertaining and worthy of many repeated plays when it was first purchased.

Listen to a clip if you find train history fascinating

Train Your Bird To Talk

If you hate someone, buy this album as a gift for them. Listening to this album is pure torture and would drive even the most insane to commit suicide. I feel sorry for the person who had to stand in front of a microphone and record this, repeating every phrase ad-nauseum.

When my kid was an infant, I tried using this record to teach him how to talk. All he did was laugh at it. The conclusion is children and birds cannot be trained the same way, mainly due to a bird's inability to laugh.

Click here to listen to "Good Morning"

Canary Training Record

There must have been a real market for bird training records. But maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps it was a fad that swept the nation only in the 1950s and 1980s. In the grocery store, hanging right beside parakeet food, you could purchase a 78 RPM record to train canaries to sing! The Hartz company sure knew how to provide for your pet.

The back of the record is somewhat amusing to read. Baked egg food for Canaries? Isn't that like cannibalism? Well, maybe not since they probably used chicken eggs. I also suppose it's okay for me to eat the offspring of an Asian person.

Because of this record, I'm convinced that I'll never own a Canary. If they're this irritating to listen to, I'm sure I'd take a shotgun to the miniature yellow turkey. Happy Thanksgiving!

Listen to "Mexican Dance"

Vanguard Stereolab Test Record

This record could also be used as torture. The high frequency noises will drive your dogs and neighbors insane if played loud enough. I'm honestly surprised that the sound of these noises wasn't highly altered by all the audio conversion necessary to post an audio clip on the net. It makes me so happy that I can make your ears bleed the same way mine did when I first listened to this!

Click here to listen!

How To C.B.

Now this one is pure entertainment! I know next-to-nothing about C.B. Radio which is odd considering how I'm interested in all kinds of ancient technology. But if I ever do become interested in CB-ing as a hobby, then this nifty 8-track will come in quite useful. It teaches you all kinds of basic slang that is used over C.B. Radio. I also have an LP with a bunch of definitions on the back. Here's some of the more interesting ones...

Go-Go Girls = Load of pigs headed for market
Pregnant Roller Skate = VW
Suicide Jockey = Driver hauling dangerous goods
Ten-One-Hundred = I gotta go potty
XYL = Wife (or Ex-Young Lady)

I love how they splashed the words "8-track Tape" across the cover, as if I didn't know what the fuck it was.

Click Here To Listen!

I think my favorite part of all these albums is how the people who made them seemingly chose a narrator who has a unique and distinct voice. They ALL sound like old-time radio announcers. It makes these albums somewhat interesting to listen to, even if the content is shit.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Candid Pics: 10/05/10

Time for another round of pics of stupid things I see...

Louie the Lightning Bug Hydrant

Louie the Lightning Bug is a mascot for 'playing it save around electricity'. The PSAs run on cable television. So what the hell is Louie doing on a fire hydrant in Pine Falls?

Appetite for Urination 

I shit you not, this is a menu from a restaurant in Winnipeg. While you're browsing the wine list, please take a moment and learn how you should piss. (Apologies for the flash glare, it was a bit dark in there).

Someone's Got A Secret!

See if you can guess which one of these girls pissed all over her hand.

Project Coffee

This was in a room where I was working. I wonder what it'll look like next year when I go back.

It's In Her Shorts (The Droop-Droop Song)

Just plain wrong.

Soup of the Gay

Found this in Superstore. Soup that tastes like cock is a novel idea, but I think I'll pass.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Junq Tour 2010: Ashern

Just take a look at this thrift store:

Walls and piles full of junk. This picture doesn't even do justice for how much crap is in this store. It's really a shame that this is the best thing about Ashern. Everything else pretty much sucks. Anyway, here's what I found...

Peanuts Cook Book (1974)


This is a weird one. It's got a bunch of Peanuts comics on one page, and some fairly basic recipes on the other page. What can you cook out of this? Well, there's Dog Food, A Cheese & Tomato Sandwich, Lemonade, Carrots, Cinnamon Toast, and a few others. Not sure why they put this one in, since I doubt many kids would like Prunes:

I dare all of you out there to make this and tell me it's tasty.

Jake Chenier - Pizza Paradise

Jake Chenier may look like Raffi, but he sounds like a man who is nicer than Mr. Rogers. He's got a very happy, non-threatening voice. The songs on this tape are dumb enough to classify it as a children's album. I must admit, I actually do like the acapella "Banana Split" song. Thank god the entire album wasn't full of songs about pizza (only two are). But this song is kinda lame. It's about a dumbass who keeps trying to get a pizza from the same place. Every time he places an order, the entire staff fucks off for a vacation.

Listen to "Pizza, My Heart's Delight"

Ike Turnpike & The Ditchcombers sing Roadkill

I really wasn't sure what to think of an album containing songs such as "Road Kill Junkie" and "Dining and Dancing at the Road Kill Cafe". I was hoping it would be funny... Like REALLY REALLY hoping that it would be funny.

It's not. It's stupid. How stupid is it? The entire ALBUM is about eating roadkill, whether it be freshly killed by an 18 wheeler, or rotting in the ditch for the last week. I never for the life of me would have thought ANYBODY could write an entire album about roadkill, but here it is. How in bloody hell did they get a record deal? Oh wait, the record label is located in Winnipeg. We've been pretty desperate to find the next Guess Who, haven't we?

Here's the song "Road Killer's Waltz"

Fisher Price Tape (circa 1985)

This mostly has some 80s music recorded on it and side 2 is blank. However, the end of side 1 contained something quite interesting. It sounds like a couple of teenagers playing with a circuit-bent Speak n' Spell. It's pretty funny listening to the toy spew out random crap while these kids try to interpret what it's doing.

Listen here!

If you've never seen a Speak n' Spell (let alone a circuit-bent one), you're in luck. Someone created an online simulation of a circuit-bent Speak n' Read so you can make your own crazy noises! Click here to play with it!

And now, for the coolest thing I found....

A Q-Bert Mini-Arcade!

This thing is the ONLY way portable gaming should be done! Four C Cells, a joystick, and a vacuum fluorescent display! Q-bert's body consists of a pair of legs and a ball for a head. The legs are also used to simulate Wrong Way / Ugg. Coily (the snake) has his own image.

How the hell do I know all their names? I owned the incredibly crappy Q-Bert board game at one point in my life which had all their names written on a die to decide who moves. The board game version was dreadfully awful.

Anyway, this Mini-Arcade works 100% and doesn't have any rust in the battery compartment. It's also a load of fun to play! There seem to be a couple of "features" missing that are present in the console version; Slick (that little green guy who changes all the colors back) doesn't make an appearance, and the green ball doesn't show up in any way, shape, or form.

I was going to make a video of the thing working, but someone else already did that. I'm lazy, so here's their video of the little machine working. The guy playing is either not very good, or he just doesn't give a shit.

Next on the Junq Tour? I don't know. It might be the thrift store in Lundar. It depends on how good/bad/stupid the one item I picked up is.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Album: Mini Stars

I'm heading back out to Ashern for the week, so I figured I'd squirt out a quick blog entry for your enjoyment.

After the original Mini Pops were dropped in 1989, Quality records (who released the final three Mini Pops albums in Canada) decided to continue making albums with kids singing pop songs. Thus, the Mini Stars were born. These kids don't have british accents, so I highly suspect they were Canadian.

This is the second-worst fucking thing I've ever listened to (the first is here). If you listen to the original Mini-Pops albums, the kids are all pre-puberty with the occasional adult backing the vocals just to make it sound a bit more full. In this horrible follow-up, the kids have entered puberty and their voices have changed. All the kids who haven't entered puberty do the back-ups, giving it a Sammy Davis Jr. "Candy Man" sound. The song "This Beat Is Technotronic" is mis-labelled as "Pump Up The Jam".

These song renditions are completely terrible. I have a feeling that there were NO kids who enjoyed this unbelievable piece of garbage, and were much happier spending their money on the original albums done by Roxette, New Kids on the Block, and MC Hammer.

First, I'm delivering to you this hilariously bad and somewhat re-written version of "U Can't Touch This".


I pulled this second song out of a Medley. I'll warn you now, this hurts both the ears AND the brain! I really wish this kid didn't fall for Leader Of The Pack:


My sincerest apologies for doing that to your ears, but if I have to go through the pain, so do you!

Download the full album HERE! 

Monday, September 20, 2010

Junq Tour 2010: Thompson

It's been a while since I've been on tour, but the next month or so is going to be jam-packed with adventure! I was able to travel up to Thompson and browse the thrift stores up there. But before I get to that, here's some pictures I snapped along the way...

This is me enjoying the beautiful sights and sounds of Pisew Falls

Here's some lovely graffiti on a gas station bathroom wall in Grand Rapids.

And now, straight from Thompson....

It's 392 Thompson drive! Why is this significant? Three years ago, I posted a recording of my Uncle talking to a prank caller in this post. This is the building he lived in. What a fucking dump.

Anyway, enough of the scenery. Let's get to the goods...

There are two thrift stores in Thompson. One is on Thompson drive, and is full of mostly terrible junk. The only thing remotely interesting was the Christian blooper video of 100 Huntley Street which I didn't buy. Come on, this isn't Jerry Springer for chrissake!

The other thrift store is on Fox Bay, and was jam packed with stuff. I spent a whole $1.50 on the crap you'll see and hear below...

As a side note, this blog entry should be alternatively titled, "Talentless Album Art Directors"

Hits of the 50s Vol. 1


Pink background, black letters. This is what you're getting folks! It may not be by the original hits by the original artists, but these are hits of the 50s!

Wait a minute, what's "Runaround Sue" doing on here? That was recorded in 1961.

HEY! What's "Bristol Stomp" doing on here? That was recorded in 1961 too!

Jesus Christ, "Da Doo Ron Ron" is on here as well! That was recorded in 1963.

I got fucking RIPPED OFF!

Now, for your pleasure, here is "Beep Beep" originally done by the Playmates (yes, this is a hit from the 50s - I wouldn't rip off the loyal readers of my blog!) The assholes who recorded this version used a pussy-ass synthesizer to simulate a horn. It sounds just as funny as a squeaky fart.

Listen to Beep Beep!

Instrumental Gold Vol. 1

Art Director: We need cover art for our new "Instrumental Gold Vol. 1" album. Any ideas?
Photographer: Sure, we could rent some musical instruments and take a picture of those!
Art Director: What? You're fucking crazy! I don't have that kind of money!
Photographer: This is a record label. You make all kinds of money!
Art Director: This is "North American Superhits"! We sell our albums for $2 each!
Photographer: Oh, sorry. I thought you were a real record label
Art Director: Never mind that. Go take a picture of those dead Dandelions outside. That'll give the listener a good clue of how great this album sounds.
Photographer: Okay, boss!

And if it wasn't Moogy enough for you, they tried to make the song Popcorn even more Moogiful! It doesn't even sound like real popcorn anymore, and the Moog player messes up playing it.

Listen to Popcorn!

Wayne Bartlett - The Dream Still Lives

I love it when people flip through their photo albums to choose a photo for their album cover. They see one, point, and say "THAT ONE!!!" Wayne Bartlett released this cassette in 1995, but the photo screams "1983!" I love his giant sunglasses, his trucker's cap, and his 1983 Chevy van. Also, nothing says "manly" more than those big puffy pink flowers on the cover, thanks to Wayne's wife's lovely art direction.

The scary thing is this is Wayne's FIFTH album. I wonder if the other 4 are just as shitty as this one. I had to listen to this song TWICE to make sure I heard what I heard. Then I checked the lyric sheet, and it was worse that what I heard:

"Just last night I went and peed
On a light pole down the street
I had the urge to show my bird
To that new dog on the street
And all the little doggies
Smellin' to the doggy do-doo
Oughtta be down here in this hole with me
Instead of being up there with you"

The good people at Robinson-Blackmore botched the insert. They printed the lyrics to side one TWICE and completely left out side 2.

I can't help but wonder how many songs Wayne wrote about peeing on random things. Perhaps after I'm done making a digital copy of this song, I'll pee on the tape and see if Wayne's singing improves. On second thought, maybe not. I don't need to be cleaning piss out of my lovely Onkyo deck.

Listen to Heart Like A Grindstone!

And that wraps it up for Thompson. Next on the Junq Tour, we get to re-visit the thrift store in Ashern!