Since I haven't posted a video in a while, I figured I would. This was another one of those moments where I was scrambling to find a videotape to record on. Here is a documentary on Farting that was aired on CBC either in the late 80s or early 90s.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Bastardized English
So, Christmas is finally over and we're all enjoying the gifts we got. Many have recieved an MP3 player, including myself. Unfortunately, I think we're all in trouble as we advance technologically. Don't get me wrong, the MP3 player works wonderfully, but the manual that came with it is nothing more than a good example of how well Babelfish does translation. In fact, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that's what our friends over in Japan use to make our instruction manuals.
I've recently been saving examples of poorly written english. All those years we practiced writing coherent instruction manuals in high school have been put to waste.
Here's a scan of one page from my MP3 player manual.
(click here to download the entire manual)
Surprisingly, this is Version 2.0 of the manual. I wonder how much of a disgrace Version 1.0 was? Here's a few gems from the manual:
"Do not use this player when driving, riding, or operating any other vehicles as it may lead to traffic accidents, which is illegal in some regions."
"Press power/stop button to turn it on while the player is off."
"Expect in record mode, long press power button until the letters of "Bye Bye" appears and the screen will turn dark, the player will be powered off.
Fortunately, although this manual is written in bastardized english, it's not too hard to decipher what it's trying to tell you since it includes screenshots, and the selections on the player's display makes it pretty self-explanitory.
Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for one digital camera I purchased. This is a camera I keep in my truck in case I see something interesting to take pictures of. Here's the "Frequently Asked Questions" section:
Some of the questions include:
"How to use photo impression down all the photos to photo impression."
"restart the computer after finish the installation of the software. The page which enable you to set up the installation path will be displayed."
I may be wrong, but those don't look like questions. I had one hell of a time trying to get this camera to work since the LCD only displays numbers and icons and the manual was obviously no help to me.
Unfortunately, it's not only instruction manuals that fall victim to bastardized english. Here's the packaging for a baby's pacifier:
After it claims that the item "is not a pacifier or a toy", it warns you not to tie the pacifier around the baby's neck. Somebody will eventually get sued for writing incoherent instructions to accompany their product.
And finally, I bring you a fortune I got in a fortune cookie. I keep this in my wallet and read it when things are making too much sense.
Just for the hell of it, I approached the chinese guy at work to help translate the message this thing is trying to convey. The scary thing is he understood it perfectly and was puzzled by the fact that I couldn't understand it. Go figure.
If you'd like to read more examples of bastardized english, check out http://www.engrish.com
I've recently been saving examples of poorly written english. All those years we practiced writing coherent instruction manuals in high school have been put to waste.
Here's a scan of one page from my MP3 player manual.
(click here to download the entire manual)
Surprisingly, this is Version 2.0 of the manual. I wonder how much of a disgrace Version 1.0 was? Here's a few gems from the manual:
"Do not use this player when driving, riding, or operating any other vehicles as it may lead to traffic accidents, which is illegal in some regions."
"Press power/stop button to turn it on while the player is off."
"Expect in record mode, long press power button until the letters of "Bye Bye" appears and the screen will turn dark, the player will be powered off.
Fortunately, although this manual is written in bastardized english, it's not too hard to decipher what it's trying to tell you since it includes screenshots, and the selections on the player's display makes it pretty self-explanitory.
Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for one digital camera I purchased. This is a camera I keep in my truck in case I see something interesting to take pictures of. Here's the "Frequently Asked Questions" section:
Some of the questions include:
"How to use photo impression down all the photos to photo impression."
"restart the computer after finish the installation of the software. The page which enable you to set up the installation path will be displayed."
I may be wrong, but those don't look like questions. I had one hell of a time trying to get this camera to work since the LCD only displays numbers and icons and the manual was obviously no help to me.
Unfortunately, it's not only instruction manuals that fall victim to bastardized english. Here's the packaging for a baby's pacifier:
After it claims that the item "is not a pacifier or a toy", it warns you not to tie the pacifier around the baby's neck. Somebody will eventually get sued for writing incoherent instructions to accompany their product.
And finally, I bring you a fortune I got in a fortune cookie. I keep this in my wallet and read it when things are making too much sense.
Just for the hell of it, I approached the chinese guy at work to help translate the message this thing is trying to convey. The scary thing is he understood it perfectly and was puzzled by the fact that I couldn't understand it. Go figure.
If you'd like to read more examples of bastardized english, check out http://www.engrish.com
Labels:
Misc
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Album Review: Khool Yule - Khool and Friends
Before I get to the album review, I just want to clear up the item that I was hoping to have in my hands that I had mentioned in my last blog entry. It was a roll of film I found in a thrift store that I had developed. Unfortunately, the negatives look black until they're held up to light. I'll try and pull some images from them, but I make no promises.
Now that that's out of the way, I present the album Khool Yule by Khool and Friends which I bought still sealed at a thrift store for 25 cents.
A better title for this album would be "Shit Yule" because it's determined to kill and destroy any Christmas spirit you may have. The songs suck, and there's really bad commentary inbetween tracks, which I will post for your listening pleasure. I'm apologizing to my poor Onkyo deck which had the unfortunate experience of processing the output of this lousy excuse for a holiday treat.
Here's the songs:
01) Have A Real Khool Yule
This sounds like a really bad Milli Vanilli rip-off. Perhaps these guys should've killed themselves instead of that one guy from Milli Vanilli. At least they (almost) got to keep their grammy.
02) Joy To the World
This song was highly unrecognizable when it first came on. It sounds like a bad Debbie Gibson nightmare. Definately worthy of getting out of your chair to hit fast forward.
03) Give Them The Gift
Hey, this kinda sounds like Motown Philly by Boyz II Men. But these guys aren't as cool as Boyz II Men (and that's pretty pathetic). It's more like Men II Pansies.
04) Wonderful
This is the only decent song on the album because it sounds like Tiffany. But Tiffany was cool, and she would probably kick this chick's ass.
05) It's Christmas Time
OH NO! Not Christmas Rappin! In case you haven't guessed yet, this is a Christian tape. What's worse than Christian music? Christian RAP music otherwise known as C.RAP. Have I told you that this album REALLY sucks? I'm not through the first side yet, and I wanna tape over it just because owning this music is wrong on too many levels.
06) What Child Is This?
Apparently it was a rejected child. This is yet another Christmas Classic that is almost completely unidentifiable because the arrangement is shit. Reminds me of that 80s band Debarge, but this piece of crap shouldn't even be compared to a band who at least had one good song.
07) O Come, O Come Emmanuel
Who the hell is Emmanuel? Yeah, that's a real good thing to stick on a Christmas album. "When I think of Christmas, I think of Emmanuel". I personally think of my
neighbour Stephanie myself. She left her curtains open one too many times while she was giving away some holiday cheer. Anyway, enough of that. This song sounds like a bad Mariah Carey impersonator with Kenny G thrown in for that nice saxophone solo. I can guarantee Emmanuel is spinning in his grave like a slot machine.
08) Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
Even though I'm not religious, this is one of my favorite Christmas songs. To completely destroy the little respect I had for this album, not only is it another bad Milli Vanilli rip-off, but the singer is that fucking irritating bastard who has been providing commentary between the songs.
09) Silent Night! Holy Night! / The First Noel
Oh great. Not only does it sound like Backstreet Boys, it's got the musicians from New Kids on the Block. NEXT PLEASE.
10) Have A Real Khool Yule (Reprise)
Yeah, like I needed to hear this again.
Anyway, here's a recording of the commentary and short clips of the songs. Feel free to shut it off when you've had enough.
Click Here to Listen!
So in conclusion, I give this album 0.5 out of five stars. I got the 0.5 from that Tiffany-ish song and the cover is kinda neat. But this album became outdated in 1989 (pretty bad considering it was released in 1991).
If you would like to buy a copy of Shit Yule, click here or buy the copy that's going for $4.99 on Ebay right now.
Now that that's out of the way, I present the album Khool Yule by Khool and Friends which I bought still sealed at a thrift store for 25 cents.
A better title for this album would be "Shit Yule" because it's determined to kill and destroy any Christmas spirit you may have. The songs suck, and there's really bad commentary inbetween tracks, which I will post for your listening pleasure. I'm apologizing to my poor Onkyo deck which had the unfortunate experience of processing the output of this lousy excuse for a holiday treat.
Here's the songs:
01) Have A Real Khool Yule
This sounds like a really bad Milli Vanilli rip-off. Perhaps these guys should've killed themselves instead of that one guy from Milli Vanilli. At least they (almost) got to keep their grammy.
02) Joy To the World
This song was highly unrecognizable when it first came on. It sounds like a bad Debbie Gibson nightmare. Definately worthy of getting out of your chair to hit fast forward.
03) Give Them The Gift
Hey, this kinda sounds like Motown Philly by Boyz II Men. But these guys aren't as cool as Boyz II Men (and that's pretty pathetic). It's more like Men II Pansies.
04) Wonderful
This is the only decent song on the album because it sounds like Tiffany. But Tiffany was cool, and she would probably kick this chick's ass.
05) It's Christmas Time
OH NO! Not Christmas Rappin! In case you haven't guessed yet, this is a Christian tape. What's worse than Christian music? Christian RAP music otherwise known as C.RAP. Have I told you that this album REALLY sucks? I'm not through the first side yet, and I wanna tape over it just because owning this music is wrong on too many levels.
06) What Child Is This?
Apparently it was a rejected child. This is yet another Christmas Classic that is almost completely unidentifiable because the arrangement is shit. Reminds me of that 80s band Debarge, but this piece of crap shouldn't even be compared to a band who at least had one good song.
07) O Come, O Come Emmanuel
Who the hell is Emmanuel? Yeah, that's a real good thing to stick on a Christmas album. "When I think of Christmas, I think of Emmanuel". I personally think of my
neighbour Stephanie myself. She left her curtains open one too many times while she was giving away some holiday cheer. Anyway, enough of that. This song sounds like a bad Mariah Carey impersonator with Kenny G thrown in for that nice saxophone solo. I can guarantee Emmanuel is spinning in his grave like a slot machine.
08) Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
Even though I'm not religious, this is one of my favorite Christmas songs. To completely destroy the little respect I had for this album, not only is it another bad Milli Vanilli rip-off, but the singer is that fucking irritating bastard who has been providing commentary between the songs.
09) Silent Night! Holy Night! / The First Noel
Oh great. Not only does it sound like Backstreet Boys, it's got the musicians from New Kids on the Block. NEXT PLEASE.
10) Have A Real Khool Yule (Reprise)
Yeah, like I needed to hear this again.
Anyway, here's a recording of the commentary and short clips of the songs. Feel free to shut it off when you've had enough.
Click Here to Listen!
So in conclusion, I give this album 0.5 out of five stars. I got the 0.5 from that Tiffany-ish song and the cover is kinda neat. But this album became outdated in 1989 (pretty bad considering it was released in 1991).
If you would like to buy a copy of Shit Yule, click here or buy the copy that's going for $4.99 on Ebay right now.
Friday, November 23, 2007
What The Hell Is That Thing In Your Avatar?
Since I'm waiting for some cool stuff to be ready for my next blog entry (it won't be in my hands until Monday), I figured I'd kill a bit of time. Not sure if anybody's figured it out yet, but that thing in my avatar is a teddy bear. A REALLY OLD teddy bear. The image that you see is what it's face looked like when I put it on my scanner.
Anyway, I'd like you to see the whole teddy bear. Meet Nennie (click to enlarge):
Nennie is approximately 40-50 years old and has gone through about three or four children, including myself. At least, that's to the best of my knowledge. She got her name from the sound she makes when you shake her, as there's a bell sewn into her right ear (nennienennienennie). She is also the only surviving toy from my childhood, and here's the story why:
My significant other had told me about this old, beat up bear that she had when she was a kid. She finally got it back from her dad who was holding it hostage. I looked at it and said, "that's nothing, wait until I show you my old bear!" So, I retrieved it from my parents' house (where all my childhood things were stored). Of course, Nennie was the winner in the "old and beat up" category. A couple of months later, my parents' house burned down, taking all of my other childhood toys with it.
Nennie will not be a toy for my own child. I have retired her from being a toy. She now sits on my dresser, enjoying a well-earned retirement from a long life of being played with.
Anyway, I'd like you to see the whole teddy bear. Meet Nennie (click to enlarge):
Nennie is approximately 40-50 years old and has gone through about three or four children, including myself. At least, that's to the best of my knowledge. She got her name from the sound she makes when you shake her, as there's a bell sewn into her right ear (nennienennienennie). She is also the only surviving toy from my childhood, and here's the story why:
My significant other had told me about this old, beat up bear that she had when she was a kid. She finally got it back from her dad who was holding it hostage. I looked at it and said, "that's nothing, wait until I show you my old bear!" So, I retrieved it from my parents' house (where all my childhood things were stored). Of course, Nennie was the winner in the "old and beat up" category. A couple of months later, my parents' house burned down, taking all of my other childhood toys with it.
Nennie will not be a toy for my own child. I have retired her from being a toy. She now sits on my dresser, enjoying a well-earned retirement from a long life of being played with.
Labels:
Toys
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Prank Caller Learns to Speak
While we're on the subject of recorded phone calls...
A recording like this is typically thought of as "dysfunctional", but for me, this was a break from dysfunction. It was one of those rare moments in my childhood where we had fun as a family.
Way back in 1988, my dad bought a new phone. This wasn't your average phone, it was a speaker-phone! It also stored 13 numbers in memory. This was also in the day before caller ID was invented, so prank phone calls were easy to keep private, and we recieved our fair share of them. This was one of those instances - a prank phone caller who would call and say nothing at the other end. My dad, my mom, my mom's friend Leona, and a 10 year old me amused ourselves by entertaining this caller. The person on the other end didn't speak one word to us, but couldn't contain their laughter! But when my Uncle Bill (who was visiting from Thompson) walked into the house and began talking to the caller, things changed.
Warning: this edited version is over 22 minutes long, but it's definately worth listening to! The original version is around 45 minutes long.
Click Here To Listen!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Trick or Treat: You've Won a Vacation!
I bought two of these wonderful tape decks at a garage sale for $4 this past summer. They're both Marantz Model PMD221. What attracted me to them isn't the fact that they're high-quality mono tape decks, but the fact that you can plug them right into your phone line and record your telephone conversations.
I've already got my $4 worth out of them, and I'm going to share one of the reasons why.
This evening (October 31, 2007), we recieved a very interesting phone call. We won a trip to Florida! What's interesting is I was talking to a co-worker earlier this week about a site called ripoffreport.com. He had mentioned that he had recently recieved a phone call regarding a "free" vacation from the Ramada travel agency, and he found them on this website.
Well, guess who was offering us this vacation? Yup, you guessed it! Here's the recording of the phone call. I had to edit it for personal information, and also because it was too friggin' long (around 20 minutes). The poor guy. Me and my significant other gave him a *bit* of a hard time.
Listen to: Ramada gets owned!
Ramada at ripoffreport.com
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Hidden Treasures on a PC-XT
I found this old PC-XT in the trash. It's a damn good thing it came with a monitor because I no longer have a stash of these old monitors with the 9-pin connector. I had a bit of fun finding a keyboard to work with it, but I was quite lucky that I had one with a AT-XT switch.
So I hooked this thing up to see if it works. I notice a bit of a rank smell, somewhat like cat piss when I turn on the monitor. But it works, and after all, I'm in the garage. It's got a nice 20M hard drive in it, and a couple of 5 1/4" floppy drives.
After doing a bit of browsing on this computer, I found a directory with a bunch of files that are apparently journal entries. I load up DosEdit and view a couple. They are indeed journal entries! Unforutunately, it looks as if they were written in Wordperfect. I'll be damned if I actually remember how to use Wordperfect (it's been about 20 years) and I'll be damned if I use Wordperfect, let alone this old yellow-screened PC-XT to read the files.
So, I start digging around for some 5 1/4" floppies. The only ones I had were the ones that survived my parents' house fire. I came across a couple of duds, but I found a couple that were fine. I've said it before and I'll say it again, 5 1/4" floppies are incredibly resiliant. They beat the hell out of those piece of shit 3 1/2" floppies that we've been stuck with for freakin-ever.
I take the floppies into the house and put some software on them (yes, I have an old 5 1/4" drive on one of my PCs.) I make copies of the Ace Archiver, Pk-Zip, Q-Edit, and Procomm. Here's a breakdown of what these pieces of software do:
Ace: A fantastic piece of software used to archive files
PK-Zip: Used by Ace to put files into a .zip file (I know how to use the command line, but Ace make it much easier)
Q-Edit: A simple text editor, nicer than DosEdit.
Procomm: Software used to send files over the serial port, and to connect to BBSes. I normally use Telix (which I use on my laptop) but Telix normally doesn't run well on computers this old.
So I install the software, look at some more files, and zip everything I want to look at.
Then, I transfer all of it over to my laptop using a serial cable, Procomm on the PC-XT, and Telix on my Win98 Laptop. I could've used floppies, but I like to avoid them when possible. Even though I like 5 1/4" floppies more than the 3 1/2" ones, they're a pain in the ass when they don't work. Transferring files through a serial cable is much more reliable anyway.
The result? After a couple of months of cleaning out the WordPerfect formatting, translating some French entries through Babelfish, and compiling everything into a workable order, I am able to bring you two extra Blogs: Agnes's Life Journal, and Agnes's Dream Journal.
I will be posting in each journal every couple of days; one post in the Life journal, and two posts in the Dream journal. Agnes is actually a very good writer, so it shouldn't be too dull nor difficult to read.
This journal should be read from the last post to the first. This blog seems to only allow you to sort by newest post first. If anybody knows how to change this, please let me know!
If you think what I'm doing is wrong, please remember that Agnes has expressed the desire through her journal to publish her life story. If you still think it's wrong, then please vent your anger in the comments of this post. Any ethical posts made in the Agnes journals will be deleted.
Now, for those of you who have been waiting, I hope you enjoy! Here's the links again:
Agnes's Life Journal
Agnes's Dream Journal
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Coming Soon to Classical Gas Emissions...
Just figured I'd give an update about blog posts that I'm currently working on. Here's what you're in store for in the near future:
My Garage Computer
This is an ongoing project of mine which I will post about when I complete it. It's an old Pentium 133 that I use in my garage for a Jukebox. It's got DVD-ROM drives, USB 2.0, a dead floppy controller, and only 40 Megs of RAM, but it's currently packing over 1500 songs!
PC-XT with someone's Journal
I found an old PC-XT in the trash. It's got a 20 Meg hard drive in it, but it came with some interesting reading! I'll be creating two seperate blogs to hold the content that I found on it. I'm currently compiling the mass amount of journal entries, and should be posting it within the next couple of months or so.
8mm Projector Restoration
I finally found myself an old 8mm projector to replace the one that went up in flames with my parents' house. I'll show what I did to restore it, and include an 8mm film of classic cartoons that I'll be putting on youtube.
I've been recovering from a kidney stone which is why I haven't updated in a bit. Don't worry, I won't be making a blog about passing the stone :)
So stay tuned for these updates!
My Garage Computer
This is an ongoing project of mine which I will post about when I complete it. It's an old Pentium 133 that I use in my garage for a Jukebox. It's got DVD-ROM drives, USB 2.0, a dead floppy controller, and only 40 Megs of RAM, but it's currently packing over 1500 songs!
PC-XT with someone's Journal
I found an old PC-XT in the trash. It's got a 20 Meg hard drive in it, but it came with some interesting reading! I'll be creating two seperate blogs to hold the content that I found on it. I'm currently compiling the mass amount of journal entries, and should be posting it within the next couple of months or so.
8mm Projector Restoration
I finally found myself an old 8mm projector to replace the one that went up in flames with my parents' house. I'll show what I did to restore it, and include an 8mm film of classic cartoons that I'll be putting on youtube.
I've been recovering from a kidney stone which is why I haven't updated in a bit. Don't worry, I won't be making a blog about passing the stone :)
So stay tuned for these updates!
Labels:
Stuff
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Why the Commodore 64 Was Better Than the PC-XT
When I was a teenager, I had two main computers - a Commodore 64, and a PC-XT. They were both color, they both had sound, they both used 5 1/4" floppies, but the PC-XT was pretty much only used for word processing and compatibility with the computers at school. In fact, I was working on making the word processor on the PC useless as I was writing my own in BASIC on the C-64 called "Peachword"
Yup, I wrote my own software. The one that I focussed a lot of my time on was my Address Filer. I wrote 4 versions of it, and was eventually going to integrate Peachword into it. I wrote my own disk catalogging software and wanted to integrate everything. I just wasn't happy with any of the pre-bundled stuff that I found.
But the fact that I knew how to program in BASIC isn't what really made the C-64 stand out, since I had GW-BASIC for the PC-XT. The C-64 had much better color, better graphics, and better sound than the PC. It also didn't need a boot disk to start up. This is what made it the most fun computer I've ever used!
I got introduced to some unbelievable stuff when I made contact with others who also had a C-64. One of the programs from them was called "drive music". It plays music using the stepper motor in the floppy drive!
I just recently aquired (another) Commodore 64, but this one is in perfect working condition. I blew up the last three C-64s I owned because I was using a defective fastload cartridge made by Alienware. I've finally trashed the cartridge because I decided fast load times weren't worth the price of finding another working C-64.
Since I now have another working computer, I was able to make the following videos. Here's one of the floppy drive playing music (don't worry, I have an extra drive if by some chance I fuck this one up playing music on it):
Apparently, there is also a piece of software that lets you compose your own drive music! I don't have the time to work on this, so I will probably never try it.
The great thing about having another C-64 is that I have access to all kinds of cool software from the internet! I made myself a cable that will connect the C-64 to a parallel port on a PC. The software I needed to copy software to the 1541 floppy drive runs in DOS, so I needed a computer that supported real DOS because Windows 2000 and beyond don't like letting you play with the parellel port. So I used my laptop running Windows 98. But first, I needed some floppies.
I used some old Wordperfect floppies, since Wordperfect sucks balls anyway. But the C-64 drive is only single-sided, so I had to make "flippy disks" by putting another notch in them. For those who have never had to do this, here's a tutorial:
First, line up the floppies back to back. Then take a sharpie and mark where the notch is on the un-notched floppy.
Then, take a GOOD single hole-puncher (not those shitty dollar store ones, you'll destroy it - yeah I already tried) and punch a half-moon where your marking is.
Voila! You now have a flippy disk! They used to sell actual punches for this very purpose, but hole punchers were cheaper and more universal.
*NOTE: You can only use double-sided double density floppies in the C-64 drive. You can usually identify them by an enforcement ring glued around the middle hole on the disk. High Density floppies don't have this ring, and they won't format in the C-64 drive (yeah, I tried that too).
Then, I was able to transfer the software I found on the net to the floppy drive.
Here's a couple of pics of one thing that I downloaded. The first is a slideshow of Britney Spears. It's just odd seeing this on a C-64.
You can also get porn for the C-64, but I'll leave that up to you to check out. You can see what C-64 porn looks like at http://girls.c64.org/ (I love the pic on the enter page!)
One thing that was cool about the C-64 was the demo scene. Anyone who cracked a copyrighted game usually put their own little demo or title page as the loader. However, a lot of these people also made entire disks of demos and had competitions to show off their programming abilities.
I used to have one that played a sample of "Holiday Rap" by MC Miker G & DJ Sven. After searching the net for a copy, I came across other demos that were far more spectacular. Here's one that has quickly become my favorite:
BTW, I had to use my DVD recorder to capture the video and then encode it to put it on Youtube. Take my advice, don't buy ATI video capture cards. They're pieces of junk. I've had nothing but problems trying to hook the C-64 up to it (and digitize some movies), but that's for another blog. Just take my advice and you won't be disappointed.
Anyway back on topic. All these reasons plus more that I haven't listed are why I enjoyed the C-64. For those of you wondering if there's anything else being done for the C-64, I can tell you there is. You can connect the C-64 to an IDE hard drive or CD-ROM, and others have even made it possible to hook it up to a network via ethernet, and someone even developed an internet web browser for it! I'm REALLY tempted to hook my baby up to the information superhighway just to say I did it. If I do, you can be guaranteed I'll be writing about it here!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
CD Review: Over The Rainbow - Gay Classics
Now, before I start my review of this album, I will make it clear that I'm 100% straight and I love women :)
Now that I cleared that up, here's the story. I came across this CD about a week ago. It was sitting with the usual crap on the CD shelves at Value Village. Of course, the title caught my curiousity. The first thing that I noticed was the naked dude's hairy ass on the cover. Looks like he's fucking the roof of a barn. What an unusual CD! It's not often I see CDs with naked dudes on them. I put the CD back on the shelf and walked out of the store.
For a few days, it bothered me that I didn't buy it. It was a unique find, and I'm just a sucker for buying something stupid like this. My logic was that I have enough useless CDs at home and I don't need another one. But then, I remembered my first experience listening to the song "He Wantz It" by a rapper called Gangsta Fag. I was literally rolling on the floor with laughter! It was enough to convince me to go back to the store a couple days later and pick it up.
So, I popped the disc in for the drive home...... I was a bit confused. I expected to hear some lispy guy singing about his boyfriend or something, but I heard the voice of a female singing instead. The song wasn't even about lesbian love! I flipped through a few more tracks and heard more songs by female artists, singing about some guy that they love. My first thought is this CD isn't very gay, it's just a compilation of songs.
When I got home, I looked into it a bit more. Apparently, these are all songs that are/were just popular in gay clubs. In other words, the music on this CD is okay for straight people to like :). Also, there's an entire SERIES of these albums!
Also I was shocked at how much this sucker's going for on Amazon.ca! I now know what I can sell if I need some extra beer money.
So in conclusion, I give this CD a big thumbs down; one star out of five. The cover is VERY misleading to the type of music on this CD. I was expecting songs about men orgys or having sex with a straight dude, kinda like the Gangsta Fag stuff, but it's just plain old dancy music. I hope the artists know about this CD because if they don't, there's gonna be lots of shit flying!
Friday, August 17, 2007
The Digital Recorder Drunks
This was an interesting find, and it's even interesting how I came across it. I was driving down a nearby back lane, and I came across some CD Jewel cases in the trash. Now, these are the larger kind which can have front and back inserts. Of course I jumped at the opportunity to grab them, since the CD-Rs I buy don't come with them (anymore) by default. These cases were in a CD holder which was sitting in a box. So I grabbed the whole CD holder, and I noticed something else that was sitting in the box. It looked like a garage door opener, but a bit more of an examination informed me that it was something else. So I grabbed it anyway and figured I'd look at it more when I got home.
So anyway, I got it home and took a closer look. It looked like a digital voice recorder which is used for recording memos and things. To verify, I looked it up online and sure enough, it's a digital recorder - an RCA Model RP-5810A. It will record for 10 minutes, up to 99 tracks. Pretty cool! I couldn't really understand why someone would throw something like this away, unless it was broken.
So, I put two AA batteries in, and it turned on! I pressed play, and was able to hear what the previous owner(s) had recorded onto it. Basically, it's a bunch of drunken idiots who had nothing better to do than cuss, sing, and talk about each other's "corn pipe".
The unfortunate thing about this digital recorder is it didn't come with an audio output jack on it. So I took it to the garage and installed one! And for you the audience, I have taken the liberty of putting the audio onto the internet for all to enjoy :)
So anyway, I got it home and took a closer look. It looked like a digital voice recorder which is used for recording memos and things. To verify, I looked it up online and sure enough, it's a digital recorder - an RCA Model RP-5810A. It will record for 10 minutes, up to 99 tracks. Pretty cool! I couldn't really understand why someone would throw something like this away, unless it was broken.
So, I put two AA batteries in, and it turned on! I pressed play, and was able to hear what the previous owner(s) had recorded onto it. Basically, it's a bunch of drunken idiots who had nothing better to do than cuss, sing, and talk about each other's "corn pipe".
The unfortunate thing about this digital recorder is it didn't come with an audio output jack on it. So I took it to the garage and installed one! And for you the audience, I have taken the liberty of putting the audio onto the internet for all to enjoy :)
Sunday, August 12, 2007
4 Track Player Update
Hey all! I know I haven't been posting for the past while, but I haven't forgotten about this blog. I've just been really busy because it's warm outside, and I've been enjoying the summer doing other things. The 4-track player works great! I had to replace the belts in it. The stupid thing I did was I ran the outputs into the sound card in my computer, and thus blew the input on one of the channels.
But I was able to listen to Judas Priest quite nicely. Now I just need to track down some REAL 4-track tapes.
Also, I've been coming across some great stuff to post about. Stay tuned and when I get some time (likely when the warm weather turns cold), I'll be posting more unusual things that are in my posession.
But I was able to listen to Judas Priest quite nicely. Now I just need to track down some REAL 4-track tapes.
Also, I've been coming across some great stuff to post about. Stay tuned and when I get some time (likely when the warm weather turns cold), I'll be posting more unusual things that are in my posession.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
My "New" Shiny 4-Track Player
I was out and about browsing for new music the other day. Of course, I found some. I can always find new music if I make an honest effort. I went to Cash Converters (a really neat + tidy pawn shop) where I bought 4 CDs and got the 5th one free. I went around the store to see if I could find anything interesting or unique. I came across something that I never though I would find in Canada. It's a Muntz 4-Track Player. Now, if you know nothing about these units, they pre-date the 8-track tape. If you know nothing about 8-track tapes, they pre-date MP3s. Nuff said.
I was surprised that this unit (likely made in the 1960s) was in such nice shape. It's covered in what looks to be chrome, and it was only ten bucks! This is a unit that mounts under your dash board. Even the mounting bracket is chrome! Needless to say, I bought it.
Now, as with most things I buy used, it comes with its own share of problems. First of all, it doesn't have a connector plug with cables so I can hook the speakers and power up. Second, I don't own any 4-track tapes. Well, I did once when I was 7 years old. But back then, I didn't know what the heck it was. It didn't sit in the 8-track player right, and it didn't play. So, I promptly destroyed it.
Other than that one time, I have never seen any other 4-track tapes. Since I need a tape to test how well this unit works, I decided to make one out of an 8-track tape. I have enough shitty tapes laying around, so I plucked one of my favorites:
I'm a huge fan of Roger Whittaker, and I have great respect for his work. Unfortunately, the track arrangement on 4-tracks is different than 8-tracks. I won't get into too many technical details, but I needed to record music on programs 1 and 3, while erasing programs 2 and 4. This should essentially give me a somewhat decent tape that will play on the 4-track player.
Now, since I couldn't keep Roger's wonderful lullabys for testing purposes, I decided to record another one of my favorite bands over top:
I took the time to record four Judas Priest songs: Screaming for Vengeance, You've Got Another Thing Coming, Desert Plains, and Living After Midnight.
After recording the tape, I had to give Roger's album a new title:
Now, to get a bit on the technical side, a 4 track player has its pinch roller built into the machine which pops up at the moving of a lever, and pushes the tape against the capstan in order to move the tape. An 8-track has the pinch roller built into the cartridge itself, so you just pop the tape in and do nothing. For this 8-track to work in a 4-track player, I removed the pinch roller and used my trusty dremel tool to cut a hole in the bottom of the cartridge.
I buggered this one up once by removing the post to hold the tape in place, so I had to destroy another 8-track: "Dick Nolan sings Folsom Prison Blues and other Johnny Cash Songs".
Just as a side note, I chose a black cartridge because the black plastic seems to hold up much better than other colors (ie yellow).
After putting my new 4-track Roger Whittaker album together, I tried it out in the 4-track machine. It stays nicely in place, and the pinch roller engages flawlessly.
Stay tuned for Part 2 when I actually do some work on the machine.
I was surprised that this unit (likely made in the 1960s) was in such nice shape. It's covered in what looks to be chrome, and it was only ten bucks! This is a unit that mounts under your dash board. Even the mounting bracket is chrome! Needless to say, I bought it.
Now, as with most things I buy used, it comes with its own share of problems. First of all, it doesn't have a connector plug with cables so I can hook the speakers and power up. Second, I don't own any 4-track tapes. Well, I did once when I was 7 years old. But back then, I didn't know what the heck it was. It didn't sit in the 8-track player right, and it didn't play. So, I promptly destroyed it.
Other than that one time, I have never seen any other 4-track tapes. Since I need a tape to test how well this unit works, I decided to make one out of an 8-track tape. I have enough shitty tapes laying around, so I plucked one of my favorites:
I'm a huge fan of Roger Whittaker, and I have great respect for his work. Unfortunately, the track arrangement on 4-tracks is different than 8-tracks. I won't get into too many technical details, but I needed to record music on programs 1 and 3, while erasing programs 2 and 4. This should essentially give me a somewhat decent tape that will play on the 4-track player.
Now, since I couldn't keep Roger's wonderful lullabys for testing purposes, I decided to record another one of my favorite bands over top:
I took the time to record four Judas Priest songs: Screaming for Vengeance, You've Got Another Thing Coming, Desert Plains, and Living After Midnight.
After recording the tape, I had to give Roger's album a new title:
Now, to get a bit on the technical side, a 4 track player has its pinch roller built into the machine which pops up at the moving of a lever, and pushes the tape against the capstan in order to move the tape. An 8-track has the pinch roller built into the cartridge itself, so you just pop the tape in and do nothing. For this 8-track to work in a 4-track player, I removed the pinch roller and used my trusty dremel tool to cut a hole in the bottom of the cartridge.
I buggered this one up once by removing the post to hold the tape in place, so I had to destroy another 8-track: "Dick Nolan sings Folsom Prison Blues and other Johnny Cash Songs".
Just as a side note, I chose a black cartridge because the black plastic seems to hold up much better than other colors (ie yellow).
After putting my new 4-track Roger Whittaker album together, I tried it out in the 4-track machine. It stays nicely in place, and the pinch roller engages flawlessly.
Stay tuned for Part 2 when I actually do some work on the machine.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Raving Loonatics
Sometimes, I'll come across something so goofy that I need to buy it. This was one of those tapes. I found it in a thrift store. It combines three things: Rave Music, Superheroes, and Sermons. The entire tape is rave music with clips of sermons mixed in (and I thought I invented this genre with my Canned Peaches project!)
The concept of the "band members" and the artwork is just plain silly. It looks like four superheroes on the cover. What's even more rediculous is their names: MC Luvthelord, Good Guy Guy, DJ Bonus Beats, and Rolf the German Loopmeister. Although I understand that Christian music of any genre (even death metal) aims to create a wholesome, religious alternative to the mainstream, these names sound like they were created by some 50 year old losers who failed miserably to understand the rave scene in the 1990s (Rave in a barn? See the insert!)
In my opinion, the entire tape is unlistenable. But the album artwork is definately something to behold!
Hear a Clip!'
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Introduction c/w video!
Hello, and welcome to the grand opening of Classical Gas Emissions! I might as well give credit where credit is due... I was inspired to start this thing because of another blog which I enjoyed immensely: http://www.dinosaurgardens.com/
The idea of featuring the worlds stranges, horrible, stupid, and most unique creations appealed to me greatly. I've been collecting strange and bizarre things for as long as I can remember. I'll be featuring some of the best stuff that I've got in my vast collection of audio, video, and other junk.
Anyway, I figured I'd start this off the right way. Back in 1992, I went through my "Public Access TV Show" phase. Doesn't everyone? There were such memorable shows as Cooking with Fran, Math with Marty, You & Your Dog, along with a slew of people who thought they made fantastic tele-evangelists, including one of my high school teachers. Yeah, he heard about the broadcast from his students on the next day. They usually found his TV show when they couldn't find shit to watch on TV.
However, I'm going to present one of those special moments for me. This was one of those moments when I couldn't get a tape in the VCR fast enough to record what I was seeing. It was on a TV show called "Johnny Sizzle's Entertainment Watch". It's stuff like this that my blog is based on. Stuff that's too bizarre to be true. Stuff that's so unique that nobody will ever see it again. I present you with a song by a (former) local Winnipeg band called Mental Note. Just watch and you'll see why I taped it.
On a side note, this is my first EVER submission to youtube. If any of you have tips on creating better videos for youtube, please let me know (I'm using Nero 7)
The idea of featuring the worlds stranges, horrible, stupid, and most unique creations appealed to me greatly. I've been collecting strange and bizarre things for as long as I can remember. I'll be featuring some of the best stuff that I've got in my vast collection of audio, video, and other junk.
Anyway, I figured I'd start this off the right way. Back in 1992, I went through my "Public Access TV Show" phase. Doesn't everyone? There were such memorable shows as Cooking with Fran, Math with Marty, You & Your Dog, along with a slew of people who thought they made fantastic tele-evangelists, including one of my high school teachers. Yeah, he heard about the broadcast from his students on the next day. They usually found his TV show when they couldn't find shit to watch on TV.
However, I'm going to present one of those special moments for me. This was one of those moments when I couldn't get a tape in the VCR fast enough to record what I was seeing. It was on a TV show called "Johnny Sizzle's Entertainment Watch". It's stuff like this that my blog is based on. Stuff that's too bizarre to be true. Stuff that's so unique that nobody will ever see it again. I present you with a song by a (former) local Winnipeg band called Mental Note. Just watch and you'll see why I taped it.
On a side note, this is my first EVER submission to youtube. If any of you have tips on creating better videos for youtube, please let me know (I'm using Nero 7)
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