Saturday, December 27, 2008

Cheap Imitation Muppet Album

Way back when I was around 7 or 8 years old, I bought a bargain bin cassette at K-Mart full of songs that the Muppets performed. ...except the songs on this cassette weren't performed by the Muppets. Rather, they were performed by a bunch of people making feeble attempts at trying to sound like the Muppets. The album cover had a crude drawing of Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Fozzy.

Unfortunately, I no longer have that cassette. I have no clue what happened to it. However, I found the original album the songs were taken from, titled "Animal House Sings and Plays The Muppet Show Theme and other Hit Songs from the Muppet Movie & Sesame Street Show!" Again, why do these cheap imitation albums have to have such long-ass album titles? The bonus with the original version is it has something my copy didn't: Dialogue between the songs, spoken by what sounds like a gay Kermit.

Anyway, I took the song "Movin' Right Along" and sync'ed it to the video from the Muppet Movie, because I was bored. Funny how well everything sync'ed up, with some minor exceptions where I had to cut and insert some footage.

If you'd like to download the whole album, you can get it from the Way Out Junk blog HERE

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Candid Pic 08/12/23

I'm guessing "Wash Me" just isn't funny anymore... says "If You Can Read This, You Must Need My Proctologist"

Monday, December 22, 2008

Scruff Connors phones Dildo, Newfoundland

Back in the mid-1990s when I was a supple young teenager, the station I listened to (Power 97.5 FM Winnipeg) got a new morning man named Scruff Connors. The guy was freakin' hilarious and gave me reason to wake up in the morning and hit record on my reel to reel machine to catch his entire morning show. If you're wondering why I used a reel to reel machine, it's because it could record non-stop for four hours, and there was no other technology at the time that could complete such a task.

After I got home from school, I'd go through the recording and pick the best parts which I'd archive onto cassette. This resulted in a mass collection of hilarious shit that has brought me laughter ever since Scruff was replaced by two unfunny and irritating idiots known as BJ and Hal. Shortly after, I switched stations where I began listening to two boring morning men. Nothing ever since has held a candle to Scruff Connors.

Here is one of the golden moments on the radio show where he chats with an operator about opening up a business in Dildo, Newfoundland.

I tried putting this on Putfile, but it woudn't upload properly no matter how many times I re-encoded it and re-uploaded it. So, wasted a bunch of bandwidth and drive space, and made a video.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

A Christmas Gift from Henrietta & Merna

It's that time again, time for me to write a Christmas entry (or two if I have time). You may remember last year when I brought you highlights from the album "Shit Yule" which of course brought joy and suffering to the ears of many. Well, not much has changed this year... This time around, I'm bringing you another video from my collection of Public Access TV shows. Not sure what this show was called, but a very zealous, enthusiastic Christian lady is wishing all her viewers a Merry Christmas, and is helping us celebrate the birth of Jesus by having Henrietta and Merna sing "Go Tell It On The Mountain". I'm sure Jesus has forgiven these two for causing many to change the channel in search of a non-Christian TV program solely to have their ears relieved of such torture. After all, Jesus understands what torture is like. Update Dec 22/08: Ever since I posted this video just over a week ago, it has spread around the internet like a contageous venerial flu and has recieved some nice youtube honors. Here's a handful of my favorite comments posted on various sites & blogs: Borstalboy: Now THIS is the kind of Christmastime enthusiasm I expect from the Bible belt! You GO, girls! PalJoey: I may convert. But to WHAT? Reginald Tresilian: They found Jesus--and are obviously bitter about it. anthony: damn that bass has some FUNK Kidcobra: Most of all though, I'm loving that bitch on the far right. Merna, is it? Though she clearly looks like she's having the time of her life, I sense she would much, MUCH rather be downing whiskey chasers at a frat thedarkbackward: The hot little minx on the right would look great chained to a radiator. Update Dec 28/08 Here's a fun happy remix from Calpernia:

By popular demand, here's a couple of updated pictures of Merna:

Sunday, December 7, 2008

In The Pines... Another PC Full of Goodies!

Here's another rescued computer that was chock full of goodies. The thing was loaded with spyware, and I also found the loveletter worm on it. For those of you who don't remember, the loveletter worm swept across the world on May 4, 2000. I remember quite well how it showed up in my inbox at work, and I excitingly clicked on it to read what the funny content would be. Needless to say, the computer crashed and wiped out any .jpg files I had stored on my machine, which is exactly what it did to many of the .jpg files on this machine. Too bad.

But, there's still plenty of good stuff to be found. Imagine my reaction when the login screen popped up:


You can't see it in the screenshots, but it had a Jesus Fish for a mouse pointer, generously provided by a piece of spyware.

It really amazes me how people can just dump their computers when they contain some very sensitive information; sensitive enough that it could lead to identity fraud. Take a look:

So, I'm going to do these people a favor and wipe out this sensitive information from the computer. Of course, there's a small price to pay for such a service. The remainder of the data is going to be posted in a new blog titled...


It may take me a while to compile each post, as pictures, MSN chats, and Word documents were scattered all over the place. But, I hope you enjoy reading into the dramatic life of this teenager.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Bastard Mickey

Today, I bought the ugliest fucking Mickey Mouse I've ever seen in my life...

I mean, just look at it. Perhaps it represents Mickey Mouse at age 70. He's wearing an old man yellow bowtie, he's got wrinkles, he's hunch-backed, and he's so goddam fat that his overalls won't stay up, giving him an effortless plumber's crack. I considered putting a thong on him, but the chances of finding a thong that small are pretty slim.

If Bastard Mickey were a real mouse, his mother would've eaten him at birth.

This toy is obviously a knock-off, and I can't find a tag anywhere on it to identify who actually manufactured it. I'm guessing he was made by a bunch of kids working in a sweathouse in China, and brought in some big Yen for those who managed to escape the evil Disney lawyers.

Genuine Disney Mickey (left); Bastard Mickey (right)

Even though Bastard Mickey is fat and ugly, I actually do like him. I generally don't like anything made nor promoted by Disney, and Bastard Mickey served his purpose of taking money away from the company. Someone paid money for him from some cheapy store for five bucks, and that's five bucks that Disney never got! They're now going to be five bucks short when trying to come up with the budget for Pirates of the Caribbean IV.

....yeah, I know I'm dreaming, but sometimes it's fun to dream. But Bastard Mickey represents something that Disney's against, and that's good enough for him to win me over! God bless Bastard Mickey.