Regardless of who your favourite Beatle is, all of them opted out of having anything to do with these albums and I can't blame them one bit. With the recent release of Beatles Anthology 4, I should seriously consider making an anthology out of the shitty Beatles knock-offs I've collected. If you think "Wild Honey Pie" is awful, then I can't imagine what you're going to think about these "gems".
I've included full album downloads because I know some of you are stranger than me and actually ENJOY listening to bad Beatles knock-offs.
The Mustang Plays The Beatles Songbook on Swingin' Hammond Organ
I've never heard of a horse who can play the organ!
You know we're in for a real treat when this is the BEST album in the entry. This one comes from our friends over at Arc Records. The mix is good and the Hammond Organ is a better singer than the losers who follow in this entry.
The worst thing about this album is that There are four songs that aren't in the Beatles songbook. "Mercy at the Mersey", "It's Ringo By George", "It's So Easy To Say" and "Liverpool" are all pieces of shit written by nobodies that try really hard to sound like Beatles songs (as far as organ music goes).
Olga, the lady who previously owned this album was terrified of it being stolen so she wrote her name on both the cover and the record label. She also had a bad habit of removing the record from it's sleeve with her teeth, so the album skips a bit on side one. Also, let's face it... Only people named "Olga" would own albums featuring the Hammond Organ. I guess I should change my name.
Tribute To Beatlemania
Hey look! It's our friend Alan Caddy from Avenue of America! After ripping people off in North America, he decided to rip off the good people of Britain by releasing a 7" EP. At least he was kind enough to put pictures of the cockroach musicians on the cover. There are numerous examples on this blog of the musical "mastery" led by Alan Caddy.
The singer at many times sounds like he needs Otravin to clean out the clog in his nose caused by all the Cocaine he was doing off his lyric sheet. The band itself sounds like they're tired of trying to sound like the Beatles. The singer on "Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da" doesn't go "braaaahhhh!" like the Beatles do, but instead sings "Ohhh". All I have to say is "ohhh shit".
As for the song "Something", well... It sounds like the band drank SOMETHING to make the recording session more tolerable. SOMETHING else should have been recorded instead of "Something". It also looks like this record had a bath in SOMETHING because the blue record label soaked through.
The Beatles Golden Songs
It appears that the worst Beatles tribute album in this entry actually came from London England. I hear the alcohol is really good there. Given the performances on this album, there is no doubt that what they say is true. The mix is... well... the bass player must have been the most talented musician because the bass is the loudest in the mix. The drummer makes Ringo look like an absolute God. A lot of the S'es and tambourines are saturated all to hell because good album mastering is an annoying waste of effort.
On the back of the album, there is a blurb that claims every Beatles song was a hit. Could someone show me where Revolution #9 was on the charts? Or how about anything from side two of Yellow Submarine? I call bullshit on this statement. Also, we have a song called "Hallo, Goodbye". It's spelled like this on both the back of the album and the label. I'm guessing that they write the word "Hello" different in London, unless the person doing album art was an complete idiot.
The songs themselves have personalities as varied as people living in mental disorder asylums. "Let It Be" seems to have Donny Osmond singing on it. The guitar playing sounds like someone throwing tennis balls at the guitar sitting in the corner, so if you were expecting a guitar solo in the middle, go listen to Led Zeppelin instead. "Day Tripper" seems to have female backup singers. If your favourite song is "Hey Jude", then I'm happy to report that it fades out nice and early so you don't have to hear the singer continue to fail hitting those high notes. He also can't hit any of the notes on "Hallo, Goodbye", so they cut that one short too. You won't recognize "Yesterday" within the first twelve seconds of the song playing. And lastly, if I had a dollar for every lyrical error in "The Ballad of John & Yoko", I'd be able to buy a REAL Beatles album.
If you're going to listen to this album, I encourage you to drink alcohol throughout your listening experience. The performances degrade quite badly the further you listen. They left their worst performances until the end of the album because they assumed that non-intoxicated listeners wouldn't even make it to side two.
That's it for this round! I'm working on trying to get back into the swing of things. February's going to be a busy month for me, so forgive me if I'm a little slow getting entries out in the next while. I have the next couple of entries all lined up and they promise to be good fun!
