Tuesday, January 19, 2021

Screw The Restrictions, Let's Travel!

In 2020, we weren't allowed to do much travel due to a plague trying to kill all of us. So to get 2021 started right, I'm going to get the year started right and bring you guys around the world through the magic of Classical Gas Emissions Travel Agency! Our first stop will be beautiful Israel!

Children's Party in Israel

This album was sealed, but I didn't think it was good enough to digitize the whole thing. Somebody paid $7.99 for this imported piece of shit. That's probably around $20 in today's money. They could have bought a couple of high quality Care Bears albums for that money. I could be wrong, but I highly doubt there are any people who speak fluent Hebrew who read my blog. Yes, this entire album is in Hebrew. If by some chance you ARE fluent in hebrew, here's a copy of the enclosed lyric sheet. 

It appears that the album may have been produced by the legendary Beatles producer George Martin, but don't quote me on that. The music is on the left channel and the speech/singing is on the right channel. There's a little bit of dialog on here, but it's mostly songs. It's actually recorded very well. For the people who wrote the bible, they're certainly a technically advanced society!

Listen to Announcement

Listen to Happy Birthday

A Child's Introduction to Life in India and Indonesia

We're going on a visit to visit the friendly country of India! This record tells a bit about the culture and tells some stories. It's a pretty fucking boring record for the most part. It makes me wonder how much I'd sleep during a tour of India.

Apparently, this album was co-produced by UNICEF. All I remember about UNICEF was those orange boxes that came from school during Halloween with the injured cartoon kids on them.  Children were supposed to beg for money while they were out trick-or-treating. Apparently, they ceased the money begging program in the mid-2000s.  Growing up, I never once knew what UNICEF stood for. In case you don't know either, it stands for "United Nations International Childrens' Emergency Fund". I have no clue what they actually do except make orange boxes to put money in.

I've provided a bit of dialog of how they celebrate "Hero Day" in India followed by the worst song I've heard since 2021 started.

Listen to a clip about Hero Day!

Hong Kong Pre-Trip Briefing

Now we get to visit the place where all my childhood toys came from! Hooray!

I was a bit baffled when I started the tape on side 1 and it told me I was listening to part 2. When I got to side 2, they welcomed me to part one. Clearly, someone either made a booboo in dubbing this, or put the labels on the wrong sides. I thought maybe the tape was manufactured in Hong Kong, but it was actually made in Switzerland. Good job, Switzerland! I'd hate to see how cheap your other products are. We certainly won't be visiting you anytime soon!

The tape is narrated by two numbskulls named Kathy and Chris who are reading an extremely bad script. You will be praying that these two finally give into their frustration and anger and finally beat the piss out of each other. Listening to these two banter back and forth gives me a headache. Regardless, I've given you some of their annoying dialog to ensure that you never want to travel to Hong Kong on the advice of Berlitz.

Listen to some clips!

Look at that! Now you don't have to worry about travelling anywhere in 2021 because you've already visited three annoying countries. Regardless, I look forward to bombarding you with another year of crappy music and whatever else I happen to pull out of my queue box. Welcome to the hell of 2021!

1 comment:

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