People who make crappy albums have been capitalizing on Halloween for decades. The scariest thing about all these albums is that people keep dropping money on them. Lots of them are re-hashed sound effects records, and these examples are no exception.
Halloween Horrors
Do you know what's scarier than listening to birds sing? How about listening to some guy who won't shut the fuck up? That's what side one of this album consists of. It's supposed to be scary, but it's just some guy narrating all the stuff he's seeing and thinking. You're going to want to shut this thing off half-way through because it's just boring as hell.
Side two is nothing but creepy sound effects such as gun shots, a funeral organ, squeaky violins, somebody taking a shower, fire, and a person doing a bad cat impersonation. We might get something creepy by mixing a bunch of these sounds together, but when they're in succession, it's just a run-of-the-mill sound effects record.
Listen to the sound effects (Side B)
Laff Tracks
A wise man once said that laughter is infectious. That person was a fucking idiot who obviously never listened to a tape like this. Although this isn't specifically a Halloween-themed cassette, it's terrifying enough that someone was twisted enough to purchase this. The laughter on this tape is very poorly executed, at least when it's not stolen from somewhere else. You get all kinds of laughter here... Men laughing, women laughing, people snorting, gagging, farting, and all those other really annoying laughing traits that would cause you to dump your girlfriend over. There's even some audience laughter taken from the Bill Cosby 49 video. I didn't find that one credited in the inlay, although Bill Cosby doesn't deserve any royalties from this release.
I whole-heartedly understand the purpose of sound effects albums. I own many myself and have used them on various audio projects. Three or four laugh tracks are useful. This fucking tape is nearly 40 minutes long, and too long by about 35 minutes. I paid 25 cents for this cassette and I still feel like I wasted my money.
As for it's usability for Halloween, I think it's perfect. I wouldn't want to go trick or treating at someone's house who was playing this fucking thing.
Sounds to Haunt Your House
K-Tel was once a big name in the budget compilation album game. Now they just license bottom-of-the-barrel garbage to re-hash for the sole purpose of making money. This is just another run-of-the-mill mashup of sound effects to play while trick-or-treaters laugh at your jack-o-lantern-printed garbage bags full of leaves. I'll give credit where credit is due... This CD has a lot more "creep" factor than the fucking "Sounds of Halloween" record.
For your benefit, I've not only provided you with this album, but with the sound effects from the previous two mixed in to make it completely chaotic. It works much better than the three of these individually.
Listen to Sounds to Haunt Your House
Listen to the chaotic mess that I made
Due to the Halloween and Christmas season, I've decided to wait until 2025 to continue posting the 2022 Junq Tour. However, I may post one or two regular entries before I get to this year's Christmas goodies. We shall see you soon!
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