Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Video Game: Kentris

Quite a few years ago, I picked up this CD-ROM for five bucks at a used book & CD store (check out the original price - yikes!!!). It's got a ton of old DOS games on it. I was hoping for some text adventures, but I didn't seem to luck out here. However, it did get me on a Commander Keen kick for quite some time.

I put a pile of these games onto my BBS while I was running it. I tried most of them, and came across an extremely weird game called Kentris. It's a Tetris clone written by a guy named.... get this.... KEN! Pretty original, huh?

Kentris is amusing for one reason: the audio. Ken's nasally nerdy voice fills your gameplay with action-packed excitement! Here's a video:

And if you would like to download your very own copy of Kentris, you can visit Ken Silverman's Website. Not only do you get Kentris, but you also get the source code so you can fuck around with it and make the gameplay better!

For those of you without programming abilities, you can replace Ken's audio files with your own and actually make it sound like a REAL game!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Candid Pics: 10/03/22

My deepest apologies for the lack of updates, but there's been a lot of stuff going on in my personal life. I won't lie, it's going to affect the frequency of the postings over the next little bit, but things will hopefully be back to normal shortly. I've got lots of blog fodder in queue, and garage sale season is right around the corner. There's no shortage of things to write about!

For now, here's some pictures I've taken in the past month or so:

Happy Art? 

Crime Spree at Old Folks Complex

It's Still Halloween!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Iron Maiden Is Coming To Town!

Hey all, figured I'd get in a quick blog entry. I'm having some surgery on Saturday, so this weekend is going to be royally fucked.

Anyway, Iron Maiden is coming to town! Not sure if I'll get to see them this time around, but I did a couple years ago. They were pretty damn good. Here's a bizarre radio promo for the band which I recorded off The Scruff Show back in the mid-90s. Enjoy!


See you all in about a week. I should have something more substantial by next weekend.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

A Boy Named Shoes

Gather around children, and I'll tell you a story.

A long time ago, back when I was in high school, I was dating the girl of my dreams. Yeah, mushy mushy. Anyway, just before Christmas, we met this guy named Darren.

Darren was kind of weird. He seemed to end every sentence with the word 'man'. "Let's go have a smoke, man!" or "I like my hair, man!" On the way home on the bus, he took down both me and my girlfriend's phone numbers and said he was gonna invite us over to groove to some Pink Floyd, man!

I fucking don't like Pink Floyd.

Over the Christmas break, he called my girlfriend numerous times. He called me zero times. I knew what was going on - he was after my woman! That's a no-no.

Here's another picture of the guy:

I'm flying man! Wheeeeeeee!!!!

Darren lived in a one-room shithole with a toilet that EVERYBODY in the building had to share. He loves Pink Floyd, likes to drink, loves to smoke, does miscellaneous drugs, makes toast by putting bread on a coat hanger and holding it over an oven element, and uses a piece of telephone wire for a belt. He also claims to look exactly like Jim Morrison. In my opinion, he looks more like a horse who lost a fight with nitro glycerine.

He also has a big brown stain on his teeth from smoking too much hash (or eating too much shit):

Sexy, man!

Darren was also a poet. Here's a piece of Darren's work which was written on one of his sexy pictures:

Anyway, when my girlfriend told him that we were engaged, he professed his love to her. "But, I love you, man!" Of course, my fiance gave him the "we're just friends" line. Poor Darren. He hated my guts.

How He Got The Name "Shoes"

One day, Darren was obsessed with getting himself a nickname. Of course, they were mostly Pink Floyd themed names. "How about 'Bricks'?... Naah, too heavy man. How about D.D. The P.F. Man?... Naaah, too long, man."

Anyway, I was telling my friends the story about Darren's adventure in choosing a nickname. Just for fun, I threw in something totally absurd. "How about 'SHOES'? Naah, too much sole, man."

....and we laughed... and laughed... and the name stuck. 'Shoes' it was!

After me and my fiance moved into our own place, Shoes got back in contact with her. He continued to tell her how much he loved her. I was getting fed up with Shoes. It was time for me to put an end to this nonsense.

While my fiance was at work, I called Shoes. When he answered, I hung up. I relied on Caller ID to inform him that it was the girl of his dreams calling him, and maybe she had come to her senses and discovered she really DID love him! When he called back, not me, nor any human answered the phone. I had set up my PC to answer every call that came in. So when he called, all he heard was a squealing noise, much like a fax machine. He called, and called, and called, and I laughed, and laughed, and laughed!

After about two hours of him repeatedly phoning, I figured enough was enough. The guy couldn't get a clue if it was written into a Pink Floyd song. So I answered. Through the magic of an old answering machine I hacked, the call was recorded:


He never called back.