Tuesday, December 13, 2016

A Very Bunny Christmas

Here we are in the heart of Christmas! I hope you're drunk because Christmas isn't Christmas without being drunk at least 80% of the time. That's the only way to forget about all the money you blew on crap for family members you don't really like. Speaking of family, let's take a look at our first batch of Christmas albums...

Mickey and Bunny Sing Traditional Ukrainian Carols

You're going to be all set for Ukrainian Christmas this year!

My memories of Mickey and Bunny date back to the times when I was listening to their records in my grandmother's little apartment. There wasn't much else to do while my parents visited. She didn't speak a single word of English, except for the word "EAT!"

Here we see Mickey and Bunny with their son Daffy-Donald (haha, get it?). He just got a shiny new guitar for Christmas so he can jam out Christmas Carols with his dad. Too bad there isn't a single guitar to be found on this album. It's all depressing church organ music.

I must apologise to Mickey and Bunny's son for driving a screw through his right shoulder. He sadly lost the ability to play his guitar because I wanted to fix this 8-track. By listening to these audio files, you are all now guilty of amputation by association.

And if that wasn't bad enough, this poor kid ended up suffering even more when his parents divorced. His dad abandoned him to pursue a solo career. Then he died. Mickey's ex-wife Bunny is still touring Manitoba, singing "This Land Is Your Land" for all the old Ukrainians in the province.

Let's see what songs are on here...

Well, that's no fucking good. Somebody at V-Records had a little too much Whiskey while they were setting up the printing press to make the labels for this 8-track. I'm not very proficient at the names of regular Christmas Carols, let alone Ukrainian ones. As a result, I wasn't able to put the song titles on the files. You'll just have to guess what they're called.

Listen to ????!
Download the entire album!

Mickey and Bunny Sing English Xmas Carols in Ukrainian

When Mickey and Bunny were trying to figure out what their Christmas album covers were going to be, they looked no further than their family photo album. Since both of these pictures were take at the same time, I can't for the life of me tell you which album is which based on the covers alone. THEY ALMOST LOOK THE SAME.

The good news is the printing press guy was sober this time so I'm able to give you the song titles. On this album, we are again greeted by our good friend, the Hammond organ. Everybody rejoices!

By the way, did I mention I want to do a Mickey and Bunny discography? I've been actively buying their albums as of late.

Anyway, allow me to shut up so you can listen to a song and/or download the album.

Listen to Up On the House Top!
Download the entire album!

Christmas with Bugs Bunny

It's a damn good thing Mel Blanc did most of the Looney Tunes voices, or else Peter Pan Records would have gone bankrupt in a heartbeat making this record! They recruited some common asshole to voice Elmer Fudd, and he does a really dreadful job of it. But the rest of the voices are top notch since it was recorded before Mel Blanc's elderly, worn out chain-smoked voice went downhill.

The downside to this album is that Looney Tunes' strong point was the antics in the cartoons. Because this is a record album, they focused on content and plot which makes for an extremely dull record. Thankfully, there's some pictures on the back to help jumpstart your imagination.

There's a few songs throughout the album, and they're awful. Unless you're a die-hard Looney Tunes fan, you might want to skip this one.

Listen to Twas a Sight Before Christmas!
Download the entire album!

Eaton's - Christmas Through The Eyes of a Child

This one doesn't have any bunny reference, but it's the most interesting one of the bunch. This record was apparently given out to the staff at Eaton's department store. For those who don't know, Eaton's went belly up back in the 1990s due to Timothy Eaton's family fucking up the business they inherited.

This record is actually a red, transparent sound sheet. For those who don't know what a sound sheet is, it's basically an overhead projector sheet with grooves on it. For those who don't know what an overhead projector is, it's the ancestor to a computer screen projector. God I feel old.

This recording is nothing more than a twelve minute advertisement for Eaton's "Style of the 80s" campaign. The basis of the recording is Little Jack Horner telling awful jokes and interviewing a bunch of other fairy tale characters who can't stop bragging about how fucking awesome Eaton's is. It's quite a strange record to give out to your employees.

Listen to Christmas Through The Eyes of a Child!

And that wraps up the Christmas goodies for this year! I've got a big announcement (hopefully) coming in January. If you were hoping that the blog would go away, I'm sorry to inform you that it's not happening. I'm still going to be torturing you with awful recordings, but I'm going to add a new element to the blog. Stay tuned!

1 comment:

Kerry Schultz said...

Aw, your childhood was so wonderful and exciting. But it's sad that where I lived people do not celebrate Christmas that openly because of other religions majority.