Monday, April 25, 2011

Book: Porn For Women

Before I start off with this blog entry, I'm going to show you something...



Yep, that's my truck's engine. Some little fucking rodent decided that THIS was the perfect place to build a nest for having babies. Not only did they pack a shitload of dried grass in there, they also deemed some of the wiring unnecessary and chewed them apart to make room for the impending family.

It took me three hours to clear all the grass out and fix the wiring. I bought myself a new BB gun this past winter, and I've been dying to try it out. I'm going to take a day and sit in my back yard shooting the many rodents that pass through. Hopefully I'll get the one who made this mess.

Anyway, on to what I'm REALLY here to tell you about. I'm about to show you the most disgusting book I've ever laid my eyes upon. All the male readers of this blog may need intense therapy after seeing this sick piece of literature which needs to be banned from this world.

And so, I bring you this...





Now, when I think of the term "Hunkier", I don't think of a more attractive male. Instead, I think of a more Ukrainian Ukrainian. If this book were about extremely Ukrainian Ukrainians, I wouldn't be complaining. But instead, we get a bunch of faggy sissy boys who have overdosed on estrogen and have cut off their penises.

Now, I could completely understand this book if the men were displaying more elements of testosterone, but they sadly remind me of 1950s women. Let's take a look at a few pages, shall we?


FAG.


Don't cry, ya WIMP.


Well, then go fuck a porcelain doll


Why don't you use them, ya pussy?


I'll bet they ripped your balls off when you got them waxed.


This should read "I'd rather fuck a beached whale, so load up ya skinny bitch"

Anyway, I'm sure you get the picture. These are just women with facial hair. They really don't have penises nor testosterone. This is on the same level as a Martha Stewart book, and even SHE has more testosterone than these douchebags.

This book probably ruined the lives of the guys who posed in them. Imagine if one of their best buddies got ahold of this book and showed it to everyone, including posting it on facebook? The dumbass who posed in the book would kill himself. There's absolutely NO going back from doing something as embarrasing as this. SHAME on the Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative for releasing this awful book.

Also available: Porn for New Moms. I may use that one to bait the nest-building rodent.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I saw this at a local bookstore a while back, and it made me rage... this book clearly is for lonely housewives that want Fabio to cuddle them at night and then go with them to the makeup store in the morning.

Also, I love how on their website it says this: 'They asked young women,
old women, rich and poor, "what really, really, gets you hot?"' Um, someone that's not a perfectly waxed metrosexual bringing me fucking strawberries? I want some REAL nitty-gritty shit!

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