Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Book Review: My Name Is Nyork

It's not often I come across books that I think are worthy of review, but I found myself completely drawn into this one and couldn't put it down until I finished all 70 pages. Please join me as I highlight a few excerpts from this fascinating piece of literature, simply titled "My Name Is Nyork"

Nyork goes into intimate detail about a very close friendship. Anmol and Nyork's parents must have immigrated from the same planet, given their unusual and bizarre names. I cannot help but wonder if either Nyork or Anmol have pets, and what kind of wacky names they have. We also notice that Anmol and Nyork differ in a very unique way; one has feet while the other doesn't. Due to their interstellar names, it's no surprise that these two possess very special powers in order to maintain balance without feet.

Ah-ha! We now have proof that Nyork is from a different planet! The interpretation that I gather from this page is that Nyrok landed on Earth on October 31st. He was also very fucking tall when he arrived. This may explain the lack of feet, since he obviously had to have his legs partially amputated in order to fit in with the rest of us earthlings. Regardless, we are thankful that Nyork has joined us on our humble planet, and has written this magnificent book to tell his tale.

It seems that Nyork has developed an exclusive taste for pork during his time on Earth, and apparently receives it as a live gift; perhaps many times a year from his mom.

If Nyork is going to have friends on Earth, he must also have enemies. In this case, it's two people named Mario and Mariw. Take it from Nyork, these guys are fucking assholes and you should NEVER interact with them!

While on Earth, Nyork has developed a fascination for urine. Unfortunately, it's quite unclear what aspect of urine Nyork seems to enjoy. Perhaps "paprony" is a special way to prepare urine for consumption. It's also possible that "paprony" is an extra-terrestrial method of urination. These kinds of urethral possibilities make us lowly humans ponder how wasteful we are with our urine.

This is some real in-depth shit here. What is chacter? Who are Spogbob? Judging from the picture, it's a crazed race of beings who live in caves and speak a highly sophisticated language. Although Nyork seems to be fond of them, I certainly hope I never run into the Spogbob!

I'm guessing that Nyork's family is very poor, because this "Tos" building is quite cheap. I have no clue what is contained inside the Tos building or what it's purpose is, but it seems that Nyork is displeased with whomever owns the building and has taken it upon himself to stick his tongue out at them.

Personally, I've never heard of a "badbp", but according to the picture it seems to be some sort of penile extension that can flex and shoot. I'll give Nyork credit, he knows a good toy when he sees it! Perhaps someday I will invest in my very own badbp and shoot semen all over my city.

You're own your own with this one. It's too deep for my feeble brain to interpret.

In the few pages I've posted here, we can see that "My Name is Nyork" is a very deep and magnificent book. I hope that we eventually see more releases by this mastermind! I was very fortunate to receive a free bookmark with my copy.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful book with me, and we shall meet again soon!

1 comment:

Chris Sobieniak said...

Thank you Ben (and you too Nyork) for bringing this insight into our puzzling world!