Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Donald Bradburn: The Gospel Collection

This was absolutely irresistible when I saw it at the thrift store for 25 cents. It's not just one album from Donald Bradburn, it's a whole fucking box set of TWELVE albums! That's a bargain of just over two cents per album! It doesn't matter if the albums are shit, it's the fact that it was so damn cheap! I hit the gospel jackpot!

Here's something to put all of this in perspective... Donald Bradburn recorded more albums than Roxy Music. Suck on that Brian Ferry, Donald Bradburn is a true music making machine!

Donald Bradburn's wife and child are on the cover of this box set, and since there's no other credits listed, it's my guess that the lineup goes something like this:

Donald Bradburn: Vocals & Guitar
Mrs. Bradburn: Bass Guitar
Baby: Drums

The quality of the recordings are.... Well.... they range from kinda shitty to kinda not shitty.

When I bought this, I had no clue how the hell I was going to tackle it. There's so much music here! I eventually decided to pick one song off each cassette and feature it here as a collection of Donald Bradburn's greatest un-hits. Let's go over some of these songs...

(All featured songs can be downloaded in one zip file here!)

Album: A Prayer For My Children
Song: My God is Real

We had to start it with a catchy number, muddy quality, and a drum that sounds like someone beating their brother's head into the wall. The lead guitar is buried in the back yard as if it doesn't matter, and Mr. Bradburn is slightly off-key. Great fucking song.

Album: Sweet Anointing
Song: Sweet Anointing

The tape recorder appears to have eaten some of the beginning of this song for lunch which is fine since none of the band seemed to know how the hell the song started anyway. The band members fall asleep on and off throughout this one, and I can't say I blame them. It's over six minutes long and would be boring as shit if it weren't for all the mistakes in it. The keyboard solo sounds as if a drunken fool tripped over the power cable, landed on top of the Casio, and engaged in an intoxicated makeout session. This song is terrible, and would have been better left in the trashcan after the tape player chewed it up.

Album: Never Be Alone
Song: Not Just An Old Story

If you're going to mix your drummer louder than everything else, he'd better be a damn good drummer. I can fall down the stairs with better timing than whoever's pounding that fucking thing. This song is depressing and boring, just like most of the other shit on this album.

Album: Heaven Bound
Song: Jesus Is Your Healer

The chords and beat are the exact same as the last song, the lyrics simple and awful, so the gold star for effort will have to go to somebody else. On the plus side, the band isn't drunk this time.

Album: Songs of Comfort
Song: There Is Coming a Day

Hello? Mr. Bradburn? Are you outside, or is your microphone level just a bit too low? The album should have been called "Songs of Southern Comfort". On the plus side, the quality of the recording is fairly crisp here. The song is still slow and boring though. Remember the good old days of the first song and how upbeat it was? It seems so long ago now...

Album: Only Thru The Cross
Song: True Lord

The album should have been called "Only Drive-Thru The Cross for a McJesus Meal". This time, we get a raw recording of the band with minimal effects. There is also a drop-out in the right channel during the song, and I have no clue if it's on the recording, if it's a faulty wire in my setup, and I really don't give a shit either way. You get what you get. It's five minutes long and I'm not listening to this slow piece of crap again just to make sure I got a good transfer.

Album: When I Crossed That River
Song: A Million Tears or More

All the songs on this album are slow, boring, and interchangeable so you're not going to miss anything by not listening to the rest of it. Unlike the last album, we have some nice reverb on Mr. Bradburn's vocals, but the rest of the band seems to be playing at the bottom of the river they were crossing.

Album: The Lighthouse
Song: My Jesus I Love Thee

Try as he may, Mr. Bradburn cannot seem to stretch his vocal chords enough to reach those high notes. Also, I think the right channel is there, but perhaps someone accidentally stuck the speaker into their rectum, causing the sound to be shitty. According to my notes, this is the worst album of the lot so if you happen to find this magnificent box set, you can throw this cassette into the trash or record some Porter Wagoner onto it. You get to hear the song "At Calvary" twice just because it's so fucking awesome.

Album: Not Now But In The Coming Years
Song: Glory To The Father Son & Holy Ghost

You're getting two songs off this one!

Here's Mr Bradburn singing in Cree! He sounds like he's had a couple of beers to make this one go down your ear canals a little smoother.

Song: Draw Me Nearer

Pick up those boogie shoes and fall onto the dance floor! We have an upbeat one here and it's about fucking time!!! It's in Cree so you can't understand it, but who gives a shit? The guitar player is drunk as fuck and the beat is catchy as hell. Play this one twice because it's better than the last 8 songs I gave you.

Album: Tears
Song: If You Ain't Living For Jesus

The entire box set should have been called "Tears". This song is kinda catchy until you get to the middle part where everybody seemingly gets run over by a tractor. As for the lyrics, I can find better lyrics in the ingredients list of a bag of Peanuts. This is by far the worst song of the bunch.

Album: It's Happening Now
Song: It's Happening Now

Surprise! This song is actually pretty good! The production is nice, the mix is good, everybody is sober, there are no tractors killing people, and the song is actually pretty damn enjoyable with it being slightly upbeat. This might be where my whole 25 cents went. The rest of the album (or even the whole box set) doesn't live up to this track.

Album: He Paid The Cost
Song: He Paid The Cost

I have to admit that I was done at this point. The song starts out as if it had just finished throwing up after a night of drinking wine, but that isn't why I chose it. I got sick of listening to all this shitty music and this is the first song on the tape. I just decided to say fuck screening the rest of the album and went for the first piece of shit on this tape.

So there you go! This is the first box set I've reviewed, and after the daunting task of going through each of these damn cassettes, I hope it's the last one I review. I'm truly exhausted from this one.

Again, sincere apologies for the lack of updates. My new homestead needs quite a bit of work, so I'll be focusing a lot on that over the summer months. Fall and Winter should see more blog entries. There's always lots of stuff sitting in queue for me to cover, so I've slowed down a bit on my purchases and only buy things if they look truly terrible. Until next time....


Anonymous said...

f ing hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Majority boaring but Album: Only Thru The Cross
Song: True Lord

Sounds like pat benitar benatar dont let it show at beginning

Anonymous said...

Michael hansen here most of this tecording needs to be remixed. Hes off pitch in some places briefly. Also his singing is not inspired just lathargic (and sometimes drunk briefly)

Anonymous said...

cant get file links to work. access denied. do i need to be signed in to google or something? thanks