Saturday, January 8, 2022

Junq Tour 2021: Winkler (MCC & Superthrift)

There weren't enough worthy albums from either store for a whole entry each, so I stacked one pile of shit on top of another and it stinks.


CFAM Radio 950 Altona: Made in Manitoba

This apparently came from the radio station CFAM in Altona. I recently switched jobs and now have a career in the Christian Wheat Belt, and they play this station at work. Honestly, I would prefer listening to someone chewing a handful of bolts, but they occasionally play something decent.

The tracks are split up according to where they put commercial breaks, so there's a pile of songs jammed into one track, causing me to work harder to extract audio. The first performer on this disc is Cate Friesen who is surprisingly decent, although I wouldn't exactly be rushing out to buy her album. However, she's talented enough to be put into the "good" category.

The other performer is Ray Kuran, and I posted about one of his albums here. He is perfectly mediocre enough for me to skip over.

Listen to Broken Ship by Cate Friesen

Maxell 8mm Videocassette

So what does twenty five cents get you at a thrift store in the Christian Wheat Belt? Pornography! The person who recorded this aimed their camcorder at their television and recorded the smut channel. The video quality is absolute garbage, but I suppose someone enjoyed this tape. We shall have a more in-depth look on this tape a bit later...

Dolores - Precious Memories

Dolores decided to jumpstart her music career by singing along to a bunch of karaoke tracks. She also seemingly put a recording of her singing as a child on the first track. It's a bit jarring when you hit play and hear this child yelling her song at you. Whoever cleaned up the first track made a mess of it. They ran it through a billion filters and it sounds like she's singing at the bottom of a sewer, which is right where this CD belongs.

Other songs on this album include Don't You Wanna Go Do That In Me, I Wanna Know How It Feels In The Sweet By and By. I may have forgotten some commas in that previous sentence. The song "Do That In Me" sounds identical to the original by Sarah Delane. Sarah sings it better, but it's still a stupid song. Regardless, both women want it done in them, so I combined Dolores's performance with some footage from that 8mm video tape and made a music video! Perhaps this will help kickstart Dolores's career in singing and/or pole dancing.

Listen to Jesus Loves Me

Listen to Do That In Me

Or watch the music video:


Bobby Bowen - 20 Years of Christian Country

Bobby Bowen has been performing Christian music for 20 years, and there isn't even a good song to show for it. What a waste of time. Some of these don't even sound like country songs. They're more like bad R&B music from the early 1980s. The rest of it is just cheesy country music. I was hoping that Bobby has moved on and found something that he's actually good at, but according to his website he's dragged his whole family down his music shit hole. Thanks to Bobby and his stubbornness to give up on his lousy music career, this blog keeps going and I don't think anybody likes that.

Listen to That's My Child

Lindsay Dueck - I Love Katie

Imagine my disappointment when I cracked the seal on this CD and discovered it only has one fucking song on it. It's about some religious kid named Katie stuck in the hospital who is apparently more important than Jesus, and therefore we should all love like Katie. I have so many questions... Who the fuck is Katie? Was she real? Why is she in the hospital? Did she ever get better? Did she actually want a crappy song written about her? Did the proceeds from this CD go to her? If she was real, I genuinely hope she got better. I also hope that she hated the song as much as I do.

Listen to I Love Katie

We have one more thrift store to cover in Winkler, and it's caked in silver and streaming shit. We'll be back...

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