Saturday, April 4, 2009

Uninteresting Trash

For the many nifty gems that I post on this blog, there are truckloads of trash that really don't make the cut. It's all stuff that's uninteresting, boring, or just plain stupid. Here's a few items that are so awful that they deserve a small mention...

Nils Ling - Half Truths

When I first came across this still-sealed tape, I figured it would be a blast listening to it! With song titles such as "Just Say No To Puppies" and "The Dress Party", it SHOULD promise to deliver entertainment for all!

Right after I put the tape in, on came some shitty Newfie fiddle Celtic music. I can't tell you how much I fucking hate Celtic ANYTHING. It makes Canadians appear as if they all live in a barn behind the bush, wearing red and black plaid EVERYTHING while eating snow drenched in maple syrup.

After the crappy music faded out, I sat there and listened to this guy tell a story about monsters in the closet or some shit. Then more Celtic music, then a story about cleaning the garage and feeding his kids motor oil in the living room. His voice is sickingly over-exaggerated which makes his stories even less funny. You know the way people talk in those cheesy B movies? Take away the motion picture and you're listening to one of those guys. I won't bother wasting bandwidth posting an audio clip of this guy because he's just not that interesting.

Rodney Dean - The Voices In My Head

This is another album with song titles that guaranteed to entertain. I'd never heard of Rodney Dean, but for two bucks I figured I'd take a gamble. This CD is filled with terrible unfunny parodies (Funky Cold Medina = Funky Skunky Smell) and really awful voice impersonations that nobody can identify. While somebody could take a bad impression of Don Cherry and make it funny, this guy only makes it equally as annoying as Don Cherry himself. And his impression of Mr. Mackie from South Park could only exist because he watched one and only one episode. His Mr. Burns from the Simpsons sounds like Mr. Bullwinkle from Rocky and Bullwinkle.

It happens so rarely that I feel embarassed for someone, but this CD manages to invoke that feeling repeatedly. And to think I could've used this $2 to buy a dull Backstreet Boys CD that would only piss me off instead of making me feel like an idiot for wasting my money.

That Thing At The Beginning of Dollarama Videos

Today I picked up three DVDs from Dollarama. Occasionally, I come across some interesting stuff there. I was happy to have found some episodes of The Littlest Hobo which was a 'family' program that I watched when I was a kid. So I popped the DVD in to watch an episode, and this PIECE OF SHIT sung by a guy who looks like that guy from Cypress Hill comes on the screen:

I generally enjoy patriotic and anti-war songs, but this is just fucking awful. The way Devon Scott Dicker sings, it sounds as if his creepy uncle is molesting him while he's in the recording studio.

Left: Devon Scott Dicker -- Right: Guy from Cypress Hill

Incidently, all three of the videos I bought have this awful song playing at the beginning. Feel free to comment on the video!

...and if you want to hear some GOOD anti-war songs, here's a few suggestions:
Rooster - Alice In Chains
Universal Soldier – Glen Campbell
Guns Of Brixton - The Clash
Eve Of Destruction - Barry McGuire

UPDATE: April 15, 2009

Here's a response from Rodney Dean!

Hey Ben,
I received a link about your blog regarding my CD "The Voices in My Head". I respect the right for you to speak your mind on things, and I'm sorry to hear that you feel you wasted $2 on my disk. Truth is, it was my first professionally recorded compliation back in 2001, and when I compare it to what I do now...well let's just say I can't listen to it anymore, good thing I only printed 1,000 copies. As far as my voices, I've been doing voiceovers professionally since then, and have done quite well with it. I've attached a recent impressions video, if you dare watch, or my direct website is
I've checked out a bit of your stuff, not bad. I will always support someone who is doing something they love, so Kudo's to you. Regardless how you feel towards me, I will continue to work on my craft, can't please everyone.
P.S. If you give me your address or paypal email, I'll gladly send you $2, so you can spend it on something worth while.
Rodney Dean

I'd be stupid to NOT take his $2!


Anonymous said...

You do know Celts are European, right?

Ben Century said...

Shhhh! Don't tell us that!

Anonymous said...

I'd be bitter if I wasted $2, AND had to live in Winnipeg too,Haha. Go to your webpage for my response.