Sunday, February 28, 2010

Happy Fag In Shower

I've had this cassette kicking around for a while, but never looked at the label. I think it was in the same box as the Unicity Taxi video.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out why it was given this title. Maybe it really did have a recording of a happy fag in the shower, but someone recorded over it. Or maybe the person singing IS the happy fag in the shower. Maybe the song is called "Happy Fag in Shower". I really can't tell you. I'll just have to leave you to draw your own conclusion from the recording.

Listen to Happy Fag In Shower!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

It's My Birthday!!!

It's blog-entry Sunday, and my birthday has magically fallen upon it. I was trying to figure out what to do for this entry, and then I figured I'd write about important things that happened in my life which led up to me creating this goofy blog.

I was a huge music junkie, even when I was five years old. I still own a cassette of "music" which I recorded on my parents' floor-model stereo system (yes, I knew how to work a tape recorder at that age). The tape was probably a K-Mart brand (green label) 90 minute low-noise compact cassette. The tape has seen many better days. It's been eaten a few times and the tape is twisted in some spots which have been permanently pressed for well over 20 years. While I was cueing up the tape to create this MP3, the tape deck decided to wound it yet again by eating it. I carefully unwound it from the capstan and performed yet another surgery on it. I won't let this tape die after having it for some 25 years! Regardless, here's a really irritating children's song (and the portion that I pulled out of my deck's throat):

Listen to a stupid animal song!

The first computer I owned was a TRS-80 Model I. I got my first taste of programming on this thing, and ironically it gave me a jumpstart into working with electronics, trying to find (and repair) a reliable shoebox tape recorder which could save and load programs reliably. This computer cost me a whole ten dollars, and a few years later I stupidly re-sold it for ten dollars. It's worth more on Ebay these days:


The first computer program I ever wrote was on the Commodore Vic-20. It was called "Dot Junk", a really stupid math game which didn't really make any sense. Regardless, it was my first venture into programming my own stuff. The original version I programmed needed a RAM expansion since it didn't fit into the generous 3.5K of RAM the Vic leaves for the user. About a year or two later when my programming got more efficient, I made a slimmed down version. Here's a couple of screenshots:

I can't believe it was 20 years ago that I wrote this thing!

If you have a Vic-20 emulator, you can download 'Dot Junk' and try it out!

The bulk of my teenage years in the 1990s included programming on my Vic-20 and later my Commodore 64. Also eating up my time was creating mashups and medleys (under the name Canned Peaches) on my reel 2 reel machines and whatever other analog stereo equipment I owned. Here's a picture of the setup I had in my bedroom:

Now that I have webspace, I'm planning on making all my Canned Peaches albums available for downloading in the (hopefully) near future. Here's just one of the masterpieces I created during my depressing, sheltered teenage life... and what an appropriate song it is! It's my goofy, messed up birthday medley (unfortunately, I'm not turning 16 this year):

Click Here for "Happy 16th Birthday" 

I believe it was in 1996 when my brother got me started on playing guitar. My mother bought me a really cheap acoustic guitar from Consumers Distributing. I played the shit out of that thing. Eventually, my uncle sent me an electric guitar which I still have to this day. One of the greatest feelings I've ever experienced is writing a song and hearing it come alive on stage. I'll put up some of my songs (including video footage) in the future. I just don't have the time to transfer and edit any video today.

In the year 1999, I entered into the already dying BBS scene. I loved BBSing with a passion, and decided to pay for a separate phone line and run my own BBS. I had around 50 door games (including X-rated ones), Fidonet, and a file base full of pr0n. Here's the ANSI graphic people saw when they logged in:

All this stuff (and more) has contributed to my love for music, old technology, and all things bizarre. A lot of people tell me I have no life. The thing is, this IS my life, and I find it to be a very satisfying one. Happy birthday to me, and all the oddball things in life I enjoy!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Modern Computer

I'm addicted to owning ancient computer books. I've been addicted to them ever since they were new. With the exception of larger storage space, more RAM and faster speeds, the basic parts of a computer haven't changed all that much. Below are some scans from these old computer books, telling you about the main components of the computer you're using right now. Enjoy the pictures, the descriptions, and yes, the prices of computer hardware of yesteryear! This blog entry is a bit graphic intensive, so click read more to see the rest of the images.

Full Computer System: more...

Friday, February 12, 2010

Albums You've Never Heard Of: Part 3

It's been a while since I've done one of these posts. Here in Manitoba, this is a long weekend, and I've got a shitload of these albums piling up, so I'm bringing you some extra-special ones this time around, and I'm sure you'll enjoy them (yeah right).

Crystal Plohman - Fiddle Fun

Okay, this one actually isn't too bad. If you like a good drunken barndance hoedown and you live in 1984, be sure to hire 11 year old Crystal Plohman to play at your straw-filled, drunken-uncle-puking-into-the-milk-bucket Square Dance!

Yes, this is an album recorded by a kid, and it's even autographed too! So, where is Crystal Plohman these days? Well, she's still playing that damn thing! After taking a browse through her discography, it seems that this album is in the "please forget me" file. Regardless, I won't let you forget this album, Miss Plohman!

Click here and listen to the lovely "Apple Blossom Waltz"


When I looked at this thing at the thrift store, I immediately thought, "Who the hell is Shirley? Is it like 'Tiffany' but with added menopause and wrinkles?" Well, I was close. This is an album by Shirley Jones, that lady who played that lady in the Partridge family. I fucking hate the Partridge family. I used to own the "Sound Magazine" album on 8-track, but got rid of that god-awful thing.

But even Sound magazine was more tolerable than this piece of ear-raping trash. Why do old bags like Shirley Jones and Kathie Lee Gifford think they can sing like angels?

Click here to get ear-fucked by "If I Loved You". It's bloody horrid!

Lo and behold, this tape is autographed too (not like it's worth anything). Can you say "washed up"?

Iikcu - Scribble-Scribble

I don't know if that's how you write the name, nor how you pronounce the album title. This thing isn't even in English. Well, with the exception of one thing in the inlay:

Let's get a web definition of 'biosafety' to help us understand the picture...

Biosafety: The application of knowledge, techniques and equipment to prevent personal, laboratory and environmental exposure to potentially infectious agents or biohazards.


Okay, so this unpronounceable album has a picture of a teenage boy with a mullet on the cover, and a picture of a biohazard-removing toothbrush inside. It gets even weirder when you play the tape... The singer sounds female! So, I can only guess that this teenage boy had a bad experience with some sort of biohazard which chewed off his penis, his testicles, and turned his testosterone into estrogen. Then he grew breasts and recorded an album of shitty 80s music. He didn't have any money to take a new picture for the album cover, so they used one from when he only dreamed of getting into a girl's panties. Now, not only can he get into panties, he wears them on a daily basis!

Click Here and Listen to 'Scribble' (aka Track 3)

And that's it for goofy thrift store albums, at least until I dig in the ever-growing pile again. Hope I didn't traumatize you too badly this round.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

DVD: Animation From Around The World

I picked up this DVD at Dollarama. It was nestled between all the shitty narrated children's book DVDs, and the 3-Crappy-70s-Movies-In-1 DVDs. Just from the title, I figured I'd find something at least remotely bizarre on it.

The DVD turned out to be a dollar well spent. It's FULL of bizarre shit!

According to the internet, this is actually a repackaged video originally called "The International Tournee of Animation: Volume 4." People have apparently paid $30-$40 for this thing on VHS, and here I picked it up in a dollar store.

I'm putting up two segments from this video. The first is a segment of moving blobs, narrated by a man and a woman having sex. Don't believe me? Watch it:

Before I get into the second video, I want you to take a good look at the back of the DVD case. Read it:

Unfortunately, I cannot put the second video on Youtube. If I do, it will get removed because it violates Youtube's terms due to the pumping sex action and big titties!

This isn't the only offensive piece on the DVD, there are a few others. This is just the most offensive one. Not only is it a bit creepy, it contains war, nutity, and sex - everything you'd want your children to see in a DVD from the dollar store!

It's about a 30M download. CLICK HERE TO GET IT!

And if you'd like to own a copy of this DVD but can't find it in your local dollar store, you can get it from Amazon.