Junq Tour 2011: Ashern

I passed through Ashern during my last trip up North. Most of what I found was useful stuff, but I did come back with a couple of oddball items...

Tupperkids - Animal Sing-A-Long Songs



Tupperware really enjoys marketing themselves by stamping their name into titles, no matter how stupid or retarded it sounds. This time, we have the Tupperkids. If someone called me a "Tupperkid" as a child, I would have cried and jumped off the play structure to end my horrible life.

The term "Tupperkids" essentially translates into "plastic storage children". The last time I checked, storing things in children is rather difficult since they end up peeing, pooping, or barfing it back out. You're better off storing your product into "Tupperseniors" since they have a special protective seal known as "Depends".

Anyway, I picked up this tape for the song "I Love Little Pussy". I thought it would be endearing to hear a little boy sing this. Unfortunately, it's an adult female singing it, and this version of the song isn't solely about loving pussy. Very disappointing.

However, the song "Tupper Tunes" is quite tupperfucking awful. Again, it's horrible product placement, and the lyrics really suck.

Listen to Tupper Tunes!


The Call of God



This video looks quite boring from the front side. At first, I thought it was just another lame-ass Christian video. The description on the back is what sold me. In big, bold, red letters, I saw the term "Rappin for Jesus". HELL YEAH! Nothing is cooler than Rappin' for Jesus! Well, Rappin' for Satan may have an edge on this. I also can't help but wonder if Rappin' for Tupperware exists somewhere out there.

More about the video... Stephen Wiley is very much like M.C. Hammer, except Hammer has those baggy pants, catchy songs, and SOUL. A Christian rapper without soul is like a boy without a penis. It's sad, depressing, and people make fun of him.

So let's enjoy some penis-less rap music. If I were Jesus, I'd be embarrassed by this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po82RwFrHWk

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