Friday, December 4, 2020

Junq Tour 2020: Brandon

We have finally reached the three beautiful thrift stores I visited in Brandon Manitoba! Believe it or not, there's an abundance of talent that I purchased while here. Don't worry, there's quite a bit of shit too.

Store: Value Village

The Cryan Shames

I had never heard of these guys before I did a Google search. They're a 60s garage band from Chicago. Their biggest problem is they were only popular in Chicago, so I have no clue how this 45 ended up in Canada. They do a not-very-good cover of "Sugar and Spice" by The Searchers. The B-side "Ben Franklin's Almanac" is better, but not by much.

Listen to Sugar and Spice 

Listen to Ben Franklin's Almanac

Derina Harvey Band - Rove and Go

You know who's a bitch? Krista. She obviously didn't appreciate this CD that the whole band autographed for her. I'm sure Derina is going to hunt her down and kick her in the box for being so ungrateful.

The cover is... ummm.... Looks like somebody drew a picture with a crayon and then left it in a damp basement to get all mouldy. I guess that's sort of artistic.

Believe it or not, this album is actually quite listenable. It's in that really tiny space where it's not quite country and not quite rock. It's always a welcome sound, and luckily this band is talented enough to pull it off. Their songs seem to be based on the idea of sea shanties which is fine as long as they're not performed by Great Big Fucking Sea. There's even an instrumental song on here, and it's a stellar piece of work. 

I have no clue what's going on with this Junq Tour because I've been finding some truly talented people. It's sort of a nice change. I'll probably toss this one in the work van for a while so I can give it multiple listens. I would like to thank Krista for being such a bitch for donating this album to Value Village. Speaking of which, Krista left a burned mix CD in the case containing shitty country and pop music along with that fucking terrible Counting Crows cover of Big Yellow Taxi. Even the songs by The Darkness and Saxon don't make up for how terrible her mix CD is. She wrote her full name and phone number on the disc, so excuse me while I call her and tell her she's a cunt with a bad taste in music...

Listen to Rove and Go

Store: Super Thrift

Kenny Parrott Vol. 3

Guess what? Kenny Parrott is from Branson! We are in the presence of REAL talent because everyone in Branson is a timeless superstar.

You know what's pathetic? I've had volumes 1 and 2 sitting in my queue box for fucking ever and I've never reviewed this guy. I guess this is going to be the motivation to get my ass in gear with my Kenny Parrott discography. Volume 3 is loaded with shitty covers of really old country songs. I'll give Kenny credit, he'd be able to get a job at Arc or Fantastic F making shitty rip-off albums. Also, the production quality is good and the band keeps time really well. So yeah, Kenny isn't the worst one I've ever heard. He's certainly talented enough for Branson. Unfortunately, this CD doesn't play very well in my laptop, so maybe Kenny should have taken some of the money he earned from selling Volumes 1 and 2 and bought himself a decent CD burner.

Listen to The Gambler.

Martin Collis - Unsung Heroes

Back in 2017, I reviewed a different Martin Collis album and found it to be funny and entertaining. This one is boring and stupid. What happened? Did fame get to his head? All I know is that I'm disappointed with this one. I put up the "Lawyer Song" because it gets stuck in your head like a maggot.

Listen to Lawyer Song

Joan, Shannon, Scott - For You

Hey! It's Joan MacKay again! What's she doing with these other weirdos?

Joan's piano playing on this album is as good as expected. The female singer (Shannon) is decent when she's singing something that suits her voice, although I don't think she's at her full potential here. She keeps trying to sing nice, but I think she would sound better if she gravelled up her voice a bit. Scott is pretty much useless.

The first two tracks (Alabama Jubillee and Ain't She Sweet) are pretty decent. "Songbird" is really pretty song which I've never heard before. All the other songs range between lackluster and terrible.

The best thing about this album is you get a DVD of them lip syncing just to prove that they look as boring as they sound. I'm really not sure why they made a DVD for this. It's like getting a 300 sheet roll of toilet paper, but you got lucky and ended up with 301 sheets. It's just a little bit extra to wipe your ass with.

Store: MCC

Joan MacKay - Songs of Spring

Two times in one entry! Two different stores! Two different albums! This one is better!

Guess what? I finally get a GOOD cover of Music Box Dancer, and it's about fucking time. Some of the other songs such as Last Date and The Entertainer are performed well. This is probably Joan's best album I've covered to date. You really couldn't ask for a better piano music album.

This was released in 2007, making it the last cassette ever released in the entire world. It's so new that plastic transparent cassette leader has become extinct, so they just used tape from some of those cheap chinese baggie cassettes for leader. It's bizarre! I have never seen a cassette like this before!

Listen to Music Box Dancer

Listen to The Entertainer

Jon Adessky

Jon obviously had a boner for some girl named Alycia, but she tossed this CD into the donation bin at the thrift store and decided to pursue a banjo player instead.

Jon is a 16 year old blues singer and guitarist. For a 16 year old, this is actually pretty good. His covers are decent although I don't really know any of them. I generally stay away from the blues genre because once you've heard three blues songs, you've heard every single song that's ever existed in the history of the blues genre. Jon's originals consist of really boring songs such as "It's Us That I'm Blamin'" and "Puffin (Your Life Away)". He's got 12 people who like his Facebook page... That's 219 people less than me!

Listen to Don't Go To Strangers

Listen to Puffin (Your Life Away)

Dennis Lischynski - A Tribute to Peter Hnatiuk

A tribute to Peter Hnatiuk? I never thought I'd see this! I keep promising to do a discography of Peter Hnatiuk which I simply haven't had the time to complete yet. However, I don't recognize a single one of these songs. Where are the classics such as "Rye Whisky", "Censored Kolomayka" or "Please Regrease Me"? Is this just a CD of traditional Ukrainian music that he wants to dedicate to Peter? Probably.

So yeah, not sure what to think of this one. I don't really like the production work on this either. Today's music producers can't seem to figure out how to make a Ukrainian polka band sound good.

Listen to Yeh Bik

Jim, Peter, Freda, Keith, Irma - Music by Olson's To Entertain You

Well that's certainly a memorable band name! It's also a really memorable album cover. Other than Keith and Irma's phone numbers, there's absolutely nothing else on the inlay. This tape sounds like a bunch of old people playing live, but there's no audience. I guess nobody showed up at this live concert. If they made their concert posters in the same style as their cassette inlay, they probably didn't list the location or time of the show.

Listen to Tear In My Beer

Drew's Famous Kids Sports Party Mix

You can always go wrong with a Drew's Lamous album. He already put out a kids album, a sports album, and a party album, so why not put all that shit together for another craptastic compilation? Many of the songs are sung by kids. The version of "Shout" on here is better than the version on the Rewind CD I found in Neepawa. There's also a bunch of pointless filler tracks that are under 30 seconds long, forcing you to waste even more of your time. The Queen song is laughably horrible.

Listen to We Will Rock You

Sony HF60 Organ Music

What is this? Who is this? There's a label, but nobody wrote on it! The world may never know who this organ player is, but I'm putting the whole goddam nightmare up for your downloading pleasure. It almost like Christian video game music, except more funeral-like. The music was recorded on the right channel only, but I was nice enough to fix that error since I don't need my readers bleeding from their right ear only. I aim for blood in stereo.

The only songs I recognize are "Bringing In The Sheaves" and "Amazing Grace". The rest are beyond me, although there's probably a "He Touched Me" in there somewhere. I guess I could make up my own song titles, but someone out there would probably stone me to death for getting it wrong. This "Pure Gamma" tape should be called "Pure Grandma".

Listen to one of the songs

Download the entire Pure Grandma tape.

We're on our way to our last stop: Virden, Manitoba!

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