Monday, November 28, 2011

Macarena Christmas Album

Macarena ANYTHING is awful.

The Macarena came out when I was in high school. It was played about five times during every high school dance and five billion times everywhere else. For the entire year, the Macarena ruled the airwaves. Eventually, this bad fart of a song dissipated. The plug was pulled faster than Milli Vanilli's grammy was reclaimed.

Everyone tried to cash in on this fucking song. It seems that nobody held the copyright to it, so Macarena everyfuckingthing flooded the store shelves. Mass production went into releasing instruction videos, more instruction videos, and a few other instruction videos. Also on the shelves were non-stop Macarena dance CDs. Seventy-two minutes of non-stop Macarena! At Christmas time (although I can't verify it) we had animatronic Macarena Santa Claus. And then there was this piece of shit album buried in the pile somewhere.

I'm surprised I found a copy of this. I didn't think ANYBODY would be stupid enough to buy something this dumb. This is the WORST Christmas album I own. Even Khool Yule is better than this. There's four songs on it:

1) Macarena Christmas (16:37)
2) Macarena Christmas Instrumental (16:38)
3) Reggae Christmas (14:36)
4) Macarena Christmas Radio Version (4:26)

The only reason "Macarena Christmas Instrumental" exists is for filler. You can't sell a $12 compact disc with just one 16 minute track, so you fill over half the CD with the same piece of garbage repeated twice, except the second time is even more boring than the first.

And who the hell is Los Navedinos? Probably just some fucking cheap-imitation Puertoricans who wanted to cash in with their non-existent nationality and a shitty song.

Since it's Christmas and I don't hate you enough to post the 16 minute version, I'm posting the radio version. The funny thing about the radio version is that NO RADIO STATION ON EARTH was going to play Macarena Christmas done by a couple of shithead imitation puertoricans who happen to be friends of some loser studio musicians.

blung diddy blung diddy blung Macarena
Pleb pleb pleb plab glung glung flabakina
blung dit pla plung gling gling Macarena
HEY Downaloada!!!

At a reader's request, here is the 16 minute version. I guess I hate you after all.

1 comment:

Emily said...

I was only 3 years old when this song came out, but I still remember it floating around through my childhood.. What is it with you Canadians making knockoff albums with some weird sort of off impersonator? xD Love it. Thanks for posting.