Sunday, October 13, 2019

Junq Tour 2019: Winkler (Gospel Echoes)

I usually try to combine all the thrift stores of the same town into one entry. This time around, I've found so much stuff that I've had to do them in separate entries. You're in for a LOT of stuff this year.

It's rare that the Gospel Echoes store disappoints me. It certainly didn't this time.


Tom & Lori albums

 


So why haven't Tom & Lori graced the pages of Classical Gas Emissions yet? Probably because they're not extremely exciting nor terrible. They're one of those artists that puts you to sleep because their music is extremely mediocre. The "Stuff Dreams Are Made Of" album is just a bunch of boring covers of songs nobody cares about. Their "Reflections" album is almost as boring except for the song "My Only Bad Habit" with tries to be sweet and romantic, but comes off as stupid, corny, and dumb.

Listen to My Only Bad Habit


The Abigails - A Moment In Time



"Hey Abagail! My friend Joe who is a wanna-be gangsta rap artist has a copy of Protools. He said we could go over to his house and record an album on any Sunday morning when we have a bad hangover from drinking too much the night before."

"That sounds great, Abagail! I have no sense of rhythm, but I'm sure anything can be fixed in Protools."

And that's how we got this thing released on "Jo Boy Records". Nobody bothered to use a click track or a metronome. The songs occasionally fall flat on their face after tripping over their own shoelaces. I swear that these songs were recorded in one take.

Listen to Spanish Sails


The Phillips Family Puppets




LOOK AT THE COVER. Absolutely terrifying! I think the green one needs medical attention.

There is no actual picture of the puppets, so I can't help but wonder if the puppets are actually real, or if this is a concept puppet album. If it's a concept album, I wouldn't be surprised if the entire Phillips family has a drug problem.

Despite this record not being in the cellophane, I doubt anybody ever took it out of the sleeve. It played like a 40 year old virgin.

My favourite song on this one is about the devil making you steal cookies. You see, devils don't really have anything worthwhile to do. They could be causing wars, scaring people with ghosts, or driving cars over people for sport. Instead, they make people steal cookies from a jar inside their own house. This my friends, is where we need the support groups, therapists, counsellors, interventions, and exorcisms. Cookie stealing is a big problem, especially when it's in your own house. This is why God wants to bring the rapture. Imagine how many cookies will be saved!

Listen to Go Away Devil
Listen to Suzie Talks To Her Teddy


Maria - So Aus Daut Leew Es



I saw an entire case of Maria's album, sitting on the floor of the thrift store, being purchased by absolutely nobody. I felt really bad for Maria because she obviously had a very difficult time selling copies of her album. Now that cassettes are almost obsolete, nobody really wants to give her album a chance.



Well, Maria, Classical Gas Emissions is here to make things better! You shall have your chance to grace the world with your beautiful voice, enjoy the interesting and catchy music you've come up with, and give the world the opportunity to enjoy your abundance of creativity and talent.

After listening to it, I'm most certainly sorry I bought this atrocious piece of shit.

Now, look closely at the cover, specifically the guitars. I'll give a prize to the person who figures out what magazine those two guitars were cut out of.

Listen to Jung Ekj Faul Enn Leew
Download the whole album!

On to our next location in Winkler...

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